London Adventures

The night after we went to check out Just Jack, a group of us went to the birthday party of the lead singer of a British band called Embrace. First we met up with some friends at a pub, at which Pavla was confronted with the largest beer glass she's ever seen:

Granted, the thing was only a pint, but it sure looked bigger. Anyhow, one of the beers she had been talking about since we got to London was a Czech beer called Budvar. Apparently, people have been brewing this beer in the town of Budweis since 1265. Unfortunately, they didn't really trademark the beer until 19 years after Anheuser-Busch came out with Budweiser. So for now, the beer is marketed as Budvar or Czechvar (its known as the latter in the US). This is what Pavla thinks of Anheuser-Busch and their trademark:

Here's a closer look at the beer:

Anyhow, soon we proceeded to the party, which was packed. It was held on the roof of this art gallery in Camdentown. The alcohol was a bit on the pricey side, but nothing unheard of in NYC. We saw several bands play, including this band called NeatPeople, who I thought were pretty great. The closer of the evening was a band called Keith, who Eryn thought were just peachy. (see picture)

Afterwards, Steph, Justin and I rode in a double decker bus to get home. Since the bus was near empty, we got to ride on the upper level at the front. Thing is, late at night, there aren't that many cars on the road. Add to that the apparent death wish that the bus driver had, and you get one exciting bus ride home. Plus, being on the top of the bus skews your perception of the road, so it always looks like you're going to crash into the median or a tree or something. This was by far the most exciting 10 minutes of the evening. Here's a pic I took during the ride:

More later!

-e

More stories from London

One of the things that we got to do in London was go check out some local shows. I missed the first one, due to a sore back. But I did make the second one! We made our way down to a venue called The Borderline to see Kevin Montgomery (see above pic), who is actually an American artist. I liked his music (even the more country sounding stuff), but man, did he tell long stories in between songs! I swear, his set would've been at least 30 minutes shorter if he'd just shut the hell up and play. And he kept making these weird gay jokes whenever he'd mention himself and another band member in the same sentence.

The following evening, we met up with Jackie's cousin Kim and Eryn's friend Cat. A bunch of us went to Wagamama for dinner (Boston location coming in Spring 2007!). Afterwhich we headed to the local supermarket in search of something sweet for dessert. Cat and Eryn got some chocolate... here's Eryn being very excited about this:

Here is Eryn and Cat finally enjoying their chocolate:

While the rest of the group enjoyed some ice cream bars:

Here's a sample of some UK-speak:

And here's Eryn... doing something strange (this picture is actually pretty funny because Eryn has a tendency to get carded a lot):

After dessert, we headed over to a nearby venue to check out one of the UK's newest up-and-coming acts, Just Jack. A mix of Jamiroquai and "a guy who doesn't sing quite as high, or well," JJ was entertaining, at least. And he didn't talk nearly as much as Kevin Montgomery. Nor did he make stupid jokes. Here's a pic of the show, which was sold out, by the way:

The following day, between classes, we hit up this pan-Asian restaurant for lunch. They charged us for everything. Extra sauce, a few chili peppers, take away containers... We were surprised they didn't charge us royalty fees for taking photos in their eating establishment. Anyhow, the food was pretty good and the portions were actually a size that satisfied my hunger... so hey, cheers to that. Also, Luis tried sushi for the first time. He had a salmon maki roll (one piece, not the whole thing). I managed to grab my camera in time to take a rather blurry picture of this event:

In hindsight, I thought it was rather brave of him to try it. I mean, I grew up eating it so it would be easy for me to think it was weird that people are so grossed out by it. But really, think about it. You're eating raw meat that's any number of weird colors, sort of slimy, and cold (or room temperature, at least). So thumbs up for Luis for taking the plunge. I don't think he's going to be hitting up the all-you-can eat sushi buffets any time soon, but I don't think he hated it!

More later!

-e

iPhone!

More on London soon... but for now, feast your eyes on the latest work of genius from the folks at Apple:


Me likey. Check out the details here.

-e

We're walking, we're walking...

After class today, we took a walking tour of the East End with the same company we used for the Ghosts, Gaslights and Guinness tour, as noted in my last entry. Luckily, this one turned out to be much more interesting. At least, the stories were more interesting. Unfortunately, it got a lot colder during the course of the two hour ordeal. Plus, we were all STARVING, which didn't help.

What did help, however, was that the tour ended at Brick Lane, an area known for its Indian cuisine. Yum. We walked around for a bit, found a bagel shop that the tour guide claimed had the best (and cheapest) bagels in London, then made our way back up Brick Lane to a random Indian restaurant. I have to admit, though, that I was slightly disappointed with the quality of the food. It wasn't bad, by any stretch of the imagination. But it just wasn't mind-blowingly good. I haven't given up though... I will try again later this week, for sure!

Oh... Several of us were also very tired after the tour. Gorging ourselves on Indian food didn't help, either, as Pavla demonstrates here:

Wandering About

Today we started class. We're taking them at Birkbeck College... Yes, there were a few gratuitous "brokeback" jokes, but I think we got most of those out of our system after a few minutes. After class, Jackie, Pavla, Luis and I headed out to explore the city a bit. We wandered down towards the Thames, past Big Ben, Parliament, Westminster Abbey, across the Westminster bridge, then past the Robot Museum, the London Eye and made our way to pub along the river. Pavla was elated to find that they carried her favorite Czech beer, Staropramen, which was quite tasty, by the way.

After a brief rest at the hotel, Eryn, Stephanie, Tara, Ruby, Justin, Luis and I went on a walking tour through a tour company called London Walks. They have about 30 different themed tours. We decided to do one called Ghosts, Gaslight, and Guinness. Admitedly, I was mostly interested in that last part about the beer. But, the description sounded interesting enough:

This is the most haunted city on earth: unutterably old, built over a fen of undisclosed horrors, believed to contain occult lines of geometry. A city where the very mist is like a sigh from a graveyard. Now I don't want to weird you out, but where we're going tonight time past and time present can fuse...especially when the daylight bleeds away. If in a dark window you see an even darker silhouette staring back, or if the branches of a tree suddenly shiver like a spider's web that's caught something, or if you follow a stranger into a graveyard (or a pub where everything isn't as it seems)...you could well be wayfaring to the rebecks of eternity. Fancy a pint?

Now, doesn't that sound enticing? Well, we thought so. Unfortunately, we were wrong. The tourguide was creepy enough and played the part well. However, the ghost stories themselves were pretty lame and campy. Most of the ghost sightings he described happened about 75 years ago and haven't happened again since. Luis bailed about 20 minutes in. The rest of us decided it was time to go when we finally got to the pub and the tourguide declared "Okay, you can all go in and buy a pint now!" Please... If this 6 pound ripoff doesn't even include the pint of Guinness, then forget it. We found a pub of our own and I got me a pint of Guinness. Yum.

That's about it for tonight... I've uploaded a few pictures from our nighttime stroll below!

-e

The First Day

My first night in London was pretty low key. I arrived on time and proceeded to customs, where I met with a bit more resistance than normal. The customs officer was obviously new to the job and was being trained by her supervisor. As a result, she was asking me practically every question in the book... and the ones that she missed were asked by her supervisor. They asked me what I was doing in London, so I told them I was here as a student, which is normally enough to get you through. However, they asked me for some sort of official proof of enrollment, which of course I didn't have because I wasn't officially enrolled in any London school. They kept asking for any sort of proof that I was here to do what I said I was here to do, so finally I gave them my orientation folder and study abroad handbook. The supervisor flipped through the handbook for about 2 seconds and said, "Okay that'll do." Jerky.

After going through all that, I grabbed my luggage and met up with Pavla, who was waiting patiently for me outside of baggage claim. We made a quick pitstop at the restrooms, the ATM, the phone, and then it was off to our first ride on the tube (that's what they call the subway here). The subway system in London is, for the most part, very efficient and clean. Like many train systems in Europe, they have signs telling you when the next trains are coming, which is so very nice. Supposedly they're installing those things in NYC, but who knows when that'll actually happen.

45 very crowded minutes later, we arrived at our Underground stop, Holborn. We ascended what must have been 5 or 6 stories of escalator and then finally got our first glimpse of downtown London. We made our way to the hotel, which was just a few blocks away and checked into our rooms.

One note about my room: I was fortunate enough to luck out and get a single room for myself at the hotel. I didn't sign up, or pay, for one, but the hotel ran out of doubles and was forced to give our group a couple of single rooms. And since the guy in the study abroad office who organized this trip knows me, he gave me one of them. In the immortal words of Butthead: Thcore.

First on the agenda was the reception for the whole London Study Abroad program, which included two other classes. We gathered in one of the hotel's conference rooms, talked, ate sandwiches and milled about. Then we headed to a nearby pub to hang out in a slightly less formal setting and get our first sampling of British beers. The funniest thing about this outing was the music. Initially when we walked into the Museum Pub (across from the gigantic British Museum), there was hardly anyone in there and no music playing. After about 20 of us settled in and started ordering drinks, the bartender decided it was about time to start playing some music... His first choice? That's right. Britney Spears. Which was followed by the likes of Avril and Christina and eventually hits like "Who Let The Dogs Out." Classic. Apparently, after the bulk of us left, they put on the Rolling Stones and left it on. It was all hilarious, no doubt... but next time I think I'll have to request they switch to the Stones a little earlier.


Then it was back to the hotel to rest up for the first day of class... More later!

-e

Getting to London

For the most part, my trip thus far has been pretty uneventful. I suppose I should be thankful for that, considering the adventure I had trying to get to Sydney this past summer.

I did, however, experience one of the most beautiful sights I've seen from an airplane while taking off from JFK. It was a rainy, foggy and cloudy afternoon, so at first, take off was nothing special. In fact, for most of it, visibility ended about 10' from my window. But as we pulled up out of the thick layer of rain clouds, all of a sudden I saw blue sky and a mountain range of white, fluffy clouds. I mean, literally, it looked like someone had sculpted a mountain range out of water vapor. It was beautiful.

Due to my stupidity/oversight, I managed to book my flight such that I have a nine-hour layover in Frankfurt. Actually, I am sitting outside of a Haagen-Dazs in the Frankfurt airport writing this entry right now. I arrived this morning around 5:30 am, local time. Wanting to try to adjust my clock, I decided to try to take a nap first. The airport has a section of pseudo laz-y-boy type chairs... except they have no cushioning, and they aren't adjustable in any way. Oh, and they're definitely not made for 6'1" people. But, they were fairly comfortable, especially compared to the cramped accommodations of the economy section of the Lufthansa airplane cabin. Unfortunately, my body was just not having any of that. So after unsuccessfully trying to nap, I decided to explore the airport terminal a bit.

First, I got something to eat. I opted to avoid the McDonalds and go for the "cafe" instead. The only thing on the menu that looked appetizing in the least was the "Ham cheese toast." I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to get. I imagined getting a slice of toast with ham and cheese baked into it... or a piece of ham laid next to a piece of cheese, accompanied with a triangle of toast. Luckily, it turned out to be a ham and cheese panini of sorts... They managed to brown the toast on the outside while keeping the cheese slightly warm and the ham cold as ice. Lovely.

One interesting feature of the Frankfurt airport is the "smoking areas." Every 150 yards or so, you'll find a group of smokers huddled around what look like that little island at the bank on which you find deposit slips and such. Except instead of deposit slips, there are tiny vents which, I assume, are meant to suck in the smoke. Now, I'm not sure exactly who's trying to fool who, but let it be known that no one is really being fooled here. I would've figured that German people realize that simply getting smokers to stand closer together doesn't make the smoke any less hazardous or annoying to the non-smokers just trying to get a ham cheese toast for breakfast.

Also conveniently placed on these kiosks are smoking ads (of course). The funny thing is, the Germans, while perhaps unwilling to contain their smokers in an actual room, are perfectly willing to forgo the tobacco warnings that most Americans are used to seeing (i.e. "The surgeon general warns against smoking etc."). Instead, they've opted for a more direct approach. Written in huge block letters on every cigarette ad, box and pack are the words "SMOKING KILLS." Now, I'm glad that they aren't farting around with vague or misleading warnings about the dangers of cigarette smoke, but look... if smoking kills, why can't you just ban it from indoor public areas like we do?! Maybe they should have signs near the smoking areas that say "Don't come too close! Smoking kills!"

In other news, I'm officially sick of screaming babies. That's right. I'm tapping out. I can't take it anymore. Add to that category "insane hyperactive toddlers." Oh, and people. Put people in there too. I'm done with people as well. All I want is a hot shower, a clean bathroom that doesn't reek of human waste (yeah, the bathrooms are pretty crappy here), and a place to lie down that isn't the airport floor. Oh yeah, I took a nap on the airport floor... Because the wannabe laz-y-boy chairs were all taken. So I slept next to them.

Actually, another funny story... So while I was drifting off to sleep, I heard this old man stop and ask the fellow sitting near me, "Hey! You! Why are you sitting there?!" The guy sitting there was understandably confused, but simply answered, "I was tired so I sat down." The old man, apparently unaware that he might've been the slightest bit odd (or rude), plowed on with his questioning and began to interrogate the sitting fellow about the train system and where to find the nearest station. The old man then set off to find said train station. Old people are so weird.

It is now 12:15pm, Frankfurt time. They actually won't let me go through security and get to my gate until 2pm. I have another 2 hours to kill. Sigh. I think I'm going to go insane. Actually, I think going insane would be easier than waiting another 2 hours to get to the gate (at which point I'll have to wait one more hour to board the plane). On the other hand, going insane sounds like something that requires energy. And I'm running pretty low on that right now. Maybe it was the McDonalds I ate. ...Oh yeah, I got hungry again and went for the McDonalds. Here are a few notes about the McDonalds here...

For one, I don't know what is up with the rest of the world's McDonalds and having to buy ketchup. WTF, mate?? It's just ketchup! I mean, maybe this is just the wasteful, excessive American in me talking... But dude. It's just ketchup. Last I checked, there isn't a shortage of ketchup anywhere.

Also, their buns actually kind of look like the buns you see on the commercials. Y'know how normally you get your McFat Burger and the bun's all soggy and crap. Well, this one was actually nice and round. And slightly toasted! Amazing.

Additional menu items: As an alternative to french fries, you could order these french fry-like potato disks. Intriguing. You can also order this dessert that, from what I could tell, is basically deep fried chocolate balls. Normally, that would sound pretty awesome. Except for some reason, because it has "Mc" in its name, it kind of makes me want to vomit.

Alright, I am starting to get sleepy again. I have to decide if I want to take another nap and risk missing my flight ... or just grit my teeth and get a coke or something. yeah, I know... i should just go buy a coke. you're right.

Well, hopefully, my next entry will be from jolly old London! Wish me luck! (even though by the time you read this, your luck will be useless to me. But wish it anyway.)

-e

Virgil Goode = Bad

So apparently, Minnesota Rep.-elect Keith Ellison is about to be the first Muslim sworn into congress. Being Muslim, he wants to be sworn in on the Quran, not the Bible. Makes sense to me.

Well, it doesn't make sense to Virgil Goode (seen here on the left), a Republican representative from Virginia. No no... We god-fearing Christians gotta look out fer them muuzlims! They all crazy!!

In a letter to CNN, Mr. Goode said the following:

"When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Quran in any way.

"The Muslim representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Quran.

In the words of that guy from SNL, "OHH NOOOOOOO!!!" [insert big roll of the eyes here]

"We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country.

"I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped."

Hm. Maybe we should make sure that no more white honkey racists immigrate to the States... Oh WAIT... We like them racists. We especially like 'em in office, right?

He added, "The Ten Commandments and 'In God We Trust' are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Quran.

"My response was clear, 'As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, the Quran is not going to be on the wall of my office.' "

What is wrong with this asshole? Oh wait, that's right... He's fearful and racist. Oh nooo! Look out! The Muslims are coming! Aiieee!!!

What a crock of shit.

-e

Fuck You Too, Rosie O'Donnell

I don't have a whole lot of time to write up a full posting on this... but hey, a YouTube video is worth a million words, right?



In case you were wondering, here is Rosie's response.

And here's her oh-so-eloquent response to a post on her website:

Will writes:
Rosie:
for someone who comes off to be so sensitive and aware of lgbt issues, why did you think it was alright to mock Chinese people and the language on The View (re:danny devito: ching chong …)???

it was not my intent to mock
just to say how odd it is
that danny drunk
was news all over the world
even in china

it was not meant to mock

Are her English skills are so poor that she doesn't know how to write with proper grammar? Or is she just mocking Asians again?

-e

The Joy of Scrabble

For all you Scrabble lovers (and haters) out there:



-e

And Then There's This Guy...

Steve "the Grape Guy" Spalding is looking to make the Guiness Book of World Records by catching grapes in his mouth. In fact, he's looking to set two records... One for most grapes caught in his mouth in 3 minutes (he did 116) and an endurance record (1,203 grapes caught in his mouth over a half hour from 15 feet away).

Sigh. It's simultaneously awesome and sad.

-e

UCLA Student Tasered for Refusing to Leave Library

Ah, America. Land of the free, home of the brave. Where students get tased FIVE TIMES because they plant bombs in... oh wait, no... because they were violent-- no... no, that wasn't it either.

Oh RIGHT... This UCLA student got tased five times by campus police because he wouldn't leave the library! GOD FORBID he learn something he's not supposed to!! Except, he was actually on his way out of the library, according to this UCLA newspaper article:

At around 11:30 p.m., CSOs asked a male student using a computer in the back of the room to leave when he was unable to produce a BruinCard during a random check. The student did not exit the building immediately.

The CSOs left, returning minutes later, and police officers arrived to escort the student out. By this time the student had begun to walk toward the door with his backpack when an officer approached him and grabbed his arm, at which point the student told the officer to let him go. A second officer then approached the student as well.

The student began to yell "get off me," repeating himself several times.

It was at this point that the officers shot the student with a Taser for the first time, causing him to fall to the floor and cry out in pain.

Did it stop there? No no. They proceeded to tase him four more times. All the while commanding him to "stand up." Now, excuse me for noticing this small problem, but how is someone supposed to STAND UP if you are REPEATEDLY TASING THEM?! Fucking idiot rent-a-cops.

Oh, and did I mention that the student is Iranian? Coincidence? I don't think so.

And how do I know what the cops were saying? Because someone, thankfully, got the whole thing on video:



An article in the LA Times noted that the officer had a history of fucked up behavior:

In May 1990, he was accused of using his nightstick to choke someone who was hanging out on a Saturday in front of a UCLA fraternity. Kente S. Scott alleged that Duren confronted him while he was walking on the street outside the Theta Xi fraternity house.

Scott sued the university, and according to court records, UCLA officials moved to have Duren dismissed from the police force. But after an independent administrative hearing, officials overturned the dismissal, suspending him for 90 days.

Duren on Monday disputed the allegations made by Scott.

In October 2003, Duren shot and wounded a homeless man he encountered in Kerckhoff Hall. Duren chased the man into a bathroom, where they struggled and he fired two shots.

The homeless man, Willie Davis Frazier, was later convicted of assaulting an officer. Duren said Frasier had tried to grab his gun during the struggle. But Frazier's attorney, John Raphling, said his client was mentally ill and didn't do anything to provoke the shooting.

Obviously a standup, shinning example of a campus police officer. And obviously very effective in his, um, despensing of justice.

This guy should be fucking tased over and over again to see how he likes it. Asshole.

-e

OJ: "If I did it..."

Sigh... OJ's back folks. That's right. He's coming out to say that he killed Nicol-- Oh wait. No no... He's coming out to say "well, I didn't do it... but if I did, here's how I would have done it..." C'mon, folks. Sometimes I read the CNN headlines and think, "Really? I mean... Really?"

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- In a new TV interview and book, O.J. Simpson discusses how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

Some people just can't stand to be out of the spotlight.

The two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air November 27 and November 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.

Heh... Big surprise, it's on Fox.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

Is it really that big of a deal that they'd dedicate two shows to it?

"This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. It's the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," Mike Darnell, executive vice president of alternative programming for Fox, said in a statement.

Last chapter my ass. You just wait. In a few years, it'll be Fox reporting, "OJ Simpson: I did it, suckas!!"

The interview, conducted with book publisher Judith Regan, will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale November 30. The book "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed," the network said.

Wait, so there's a book being published? And it's being released a few days after the interviews air? *gasp* ... big surprise.

Aren't there more important things to be reporting?

-e

Neighbors

I live near some crazy people.

A few weeks ago, I had an encounter with an old man in my neighborhood. I was driving around and kind of swerving to avoid the various obstacles in the street (pedestrians, bikers, etc) when I saw this old man crossing the street 2 blocks ahead. In typical old man fashion, he was walking ... very........ slowly. However, he was a little more than halfway across the street, so I leaned my car to the left a bit to curve around him. Pretty standard.

So what does the old guy do? He STOPS in the middle of the street (now I will no longer be able to avoid him) forcing me to slam on my brakes to avoid killing him. Why did he stop, you ask? To lecture me on driving too fast!! He just stopped in the middle of the road (not a crosswalk, mind you) held his hands out and screamed "STOP! STOP!!" Then he proceeded to yell at me about "this is not a racetrack" "why do you have to drive so fast," etc etc. I was thinking, "sorry, pops... maybe they didn't go so fast back in your time, but I really wasn't driving all that fast!"

So I sat there for a second and contemplated screaming back at him for almost making me run him over, but decided that yelling at some old crazy man in the middle of the street just wasn't worth my time. Instead, I just lowered my passenger side window and said very calmly, "I wasn't going to hit you, you know." Then I slowly drove around him and went on my merry way, while the old man kept yelling "No! Wait! Listen!!" Stupid old man.

Then there are the crazy people across the street from me... My street is really narrow, so the building across the street is quite close, and I can see and hear most of what goes on in there all the time. For instance, the rather obese boy with the really large bay windows refuses to put up shades or blinds, and instead changes in plain view of everyone on my side of the street. It's really quite unappetizing.

Anyhow, about every two days, all I hear over there is screaming and yelling from both children and adults. And I mean, all manner of curses and swears emanate from their house. I met the woman of the house, this nice lady named Dolores, when I first moved in. She asked me if I had any kids... when I replied "no no... not yet, anyway," she said she had three and asked me if I wanted them. Looking back I wonder if she was serious :p

Ah, neighbors.

-e

Happy Halloween!

(Thanks to Roibs for the pic)

-e

Black Sheep is BACK

You guys remember Black Sheep, right? Y'know... the guys that came up with:

Engine, Engine, Number Nine,
On the New York transit line,
If my train goes off the track,
Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up!

Yeah, that's them. Well, MCs Dres and Mista Lawnge are back at it again with a digital-only release called 8WM/NOVAKANE. If you want head bobbing, horn kicking, Black Sheep-a-licious hip-hop, check out "B Boys Theme" and "Whodat." If you want something a little more chill and, yes, sensitive, take a listen to "Be Careful." It's a fantastic album and a welcome surprise from one of the biggest hip-hop groups of the early-mid 90's.

Check it out on emusic or fo' sho'.

-e

Bush Uses "The Google"

Man. You gotta hand it to Bush. He may not know how to speak English... But does he let it stop him? Does he admit his mistakes? No! He just plows right along. This particular example has been all over "the internet" (perhaps Mr. Bush has heard of this new technology?). It goes something like this:

HOST: I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?

BUSH: Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It (garbled) remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.

"The Google"? "I kinda like to look at the ranch?"... Awesome. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America... The most powerful man on the planet... Leader of the free world... Mr. George W. (the) Bush:




-e

Weird Al Gets His

It's about freaking time! Weird Al has entertained millions of us with his ridiculous, yet oftentimes quite clever, parodies of all our favorite hits. I remember listening to my casette tape of "Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D" over and over again ("King of Suede"? I mean, c'mon! So awesome!). I loved the idea of getting "Stuck In A Closet with Vanna White," I thought twice about medicine when "Like a Surgeon" came out, and I certainly won't ever forget the amazing video for "Fat."

I could go on, but really, we all know he's great. And he's FINALLY hit the top 10! According to CNN.com:

"Weird Al" Yankovic's new album, "Straight Outta Lynwood," has scored the enduring song parodist his biggest chart successes in a career that spans nearly three decades. "Lynwood," Yankovic's 12th album, debuted this month at No. 10 on the Billboard 200, his first top 10 album ever. Meanwhile, the Chamillionaire parody "White and Nerdy," reached No. 9 on the Billboard Hot 100, besting his previous high of No. 12 with "Eat It" in 1984.

It's about freaking time! This man is a genius, ladies and gentlemen. With lyrics like:

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces

...you can't deny him! So let's give him his props. You can start by downloading this song:

Don't Download This Song

Cheers,

-e

Ban is IN

The BCC proclaimed today: "South Korean elected new UN chief"!



Rock on, Ban Ki-moon.

-e

ED-209, Anyone?

I've been super busy lately... But this one was too good to pass up. Does anyone remember the movie Robocop? Now, does anyone remember ED-209 from Robocop? Y'know, that insane security robot that went insane and killed some dude in a boardroom meeting? Well, check this article from the digital edition of the Chosun Ilbo:

Korea Develops Armed Security Guard Robot

Korea has unveiled an “intelligent” robotic security guard on Thursday. The Ministry of Commerce, Industry and Energy tested the robot in front of some 100 guests including the minister, Chung Sye-kyun. The robot has the ability to discern people and vehicles within a 2-km range in daytime and 1 km at night and of telling the difference between friend and foe by asking for a password when someone comes within 10 m of it.

When it identifies a suspicious individual, it sends a warning and can fire at intruders using a built-in K-3 machine gun or a non-lethal rubber bullet gun. The developer, Samsung Techwin, expects the robot to become commercially available in late 2007 for use in guarding sensitive facilities such as military units or airports.

Hehe...

ED-209: Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Dick Jones: I think you'd better do as he says, Mr. Kinney.

...seconds later...

[Dick Jones's ED-209 has malfunctioned during a demonstration, killing an office worker]
The Old Man: Dick, I'm very disappointed.
Dick Jones: I'm sure it's only a glitch. A temporary setback.
The Old Man: You call this a GLITCH?

Ah, ain't technology grand?

-e

Best Album Title of the Day

While browsing around emusic.com, I found this gem:


That's right. "Gothic Vampires From Hell & Covered In Goth"

...Soooo... Is this a goth album? I'm just not sure.

-e

A True "Handy" Man

Boy, the things guys will do to impress girls. CNN.com recently posted a story about this doctor who was trying to impress a stripper by showering her with gifts. The only problem was, well... the gift:

NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey (AP) -- A doctor has pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand from a New Jersey medical school cadaver and giving it to an exotic dancer, authorities said.

Okay... so now you understand the corny title of this entry. Moving on...

Ahmed Rashed, a 2005 graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, was charged Monday after voluntarily returning from Los Angeles, California, where he is in a residency program, said his lawyer, Hassen Abdellah. Rashed, 26, is free on $1,000 bail.

As if folks with Mulsim-sounding names weren't getting enough bad press these days, this tool had to go and do something retarded like this.

The dancer, Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom. Friends have said she called the hand "Freddy."

Aw, how cute. And by "cute" I mean "utterly and deeply disturbing."

Police discovered the hand, along with six human skulls, at Kay's home in July after being called there on a report that a roommate was suicidal. The roommate was not home, but Kay was.

Ohhh... So it was the ROOMMATE's fault he got caught! See, this is why I don't like roommates. They get all suicidal which attracts attention, then the police take my preserved body parts away. Sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.

Kay, 31, has pleaded not guilty to unlawful disposal of human remains. Her mother has said she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

Way to go, mom.

The charge against Rashed carries up to 10 years in prison.

C'mon now. The man was just trying to impress a stripper! If we all went to jail for 10 years for stealing human body parts to give to our stripper girlfriends, well shit... There wouldn't be any of us left!

-e

PS - I hope everyone reading this is happy that I avoided cheesy puns using the word "hand" (aside from the title). For instance, "I have to HAND it to Rashed..." or "Strippers make money HAND over fist..." or um... okay that's all I got.

I SAW THE WHO!! (for free!)

So yesterday, thanks to a oh-so-well-timed IM/e-mail from my good friend (perhaps new best friend) Goose, I learned about a very short lived ticket special at school today: They were GIVING AWAY tickets to see THE WHO (my most favorite band in the entire world) at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!! Needless to say, after learning about this, I left work and RAN (literally) down 5 flights of stairs, 3 blocks and up another flight of stairs to the on-campus ticket booth. Good thing there were two people ahead of me so that I could sort of catch my breath before asking for my tickets (I'm really out of shape, okay?). And as luck would have it, they had tickets left! So my brother and I got to head up to the Garden to see our favorite band! Both of us had seen The Who once previously so we knew we were in for a treat.

It was my first time at MSG and I couldn't help but feel a little sense of awe at entering such a historic venue. Our seats were pretty far back (in section 349, for anyone who knows MSG real well), but they were directly in line with the stage. And as it turns out, the Garden is a relatively small place for being such a major arena. There was maybe a 1/32 beat sound delay between the stage and our seats.

Anyhow, we arrived a little on the early side (for a concert anyway) and unfortunately managed to catch a very, very bad opening band. Actually, no, I take that back. They weren't THAT bad... They were just very inappropriate for this particular show. It was a band called The Peeping Toms, which sounded like a mix of Faith No More, Maroon 5, and Cypress Hill... I later discovered that this band is actually Mike Patton's new project (Patton is the lead singer from Faith No More). Anyone who knows any one of those bands might understand why the booker or promoter that put this bill together must have been on crack when he had this brilliant idea. I've never heard an opening band at a major show like this boo'd so much.

Three beers, a jumbo hot dog, and about 30 minutes later, The Peeping Toms were finally done. We eagerly returned to our seats to await the start of what promised to be an amazing show. Our promptness was rewarded when, after a relatively short change over, the lights went down, the crowd went crazy, and The Who took the stage.

They opened with one of their oldest hits, "I Can't Explain" (which happens to be playing on my iTunes right now, actually), then went right on into "The Seeker" followed by "Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere." They then threw out a few newer songs, the names of which I don't recall right now, unfortunately. But they didn't leave us hanging for too long... They cranked out a blistering "Who Are You" as well as grand "Baba O'Riley." So amazing.

Then in the middle of the show, they did a medly of 6 songs from their new mini-opera. It's a story about a band's humble beginnings, rise to fame, eventual decline, and, well, some other issues that they didn't really go into very much... Loosely based on the members of The Who, the 6-song journey was a refreshing breath of new material from the aging genius, (and one of my idols) Pete Townshend.

On a quick side note, Pete's brother Simon was playing rhythm guitar and singing backing vocals. I thought this was pretty cool of ol' Pete to allow his younger brother to chill out on stage with him :) Also filling out the band was drummer Zac Starkey, Ringo Star's son. Man, was this guy awesome. He's pretty laid back, all in all... But when he needs to bring it, consider it brought.


Anyhow, then it was right back into the great old hits, like "Won't Get Fooled Again," (see above picture) "Eminence Front," and the anthemic "My Generation." Thus ended the first set... And, per tradition, after a quick break, they came back on to do another short set. This time, Townshend and Daltry came out alone and did an acoustic version of a newer song (again, I don't recall the name). Then, with the whole band back on stage, Townshend played perhaps one of the most famous intros in the history of rock 'n' roll: the opening to Pinball Wizard. I freaked. They then proceeded to play several songs from their most famous rock opera, Tommy, including "Amazing Journey," "Sparks," and of course the finale "See Me, Feel Me" (see below pic). I was in musical heaven. I never got to see them play so many songs from Tommy the last time I saw them (although I did get to see Quadrophenia in its entirety, which was great).


To top off the evening, the rest of the band left the stage one last time and Pete and Roger did a surprisingly touching duet (again, no name in my brain) which basically painted a picture of two aging rock stars sitting down to have some tea and talking about all they've accomplished-- and all they've lost. I think most people had a pretty good feeling that there were allusions to the death of their original drummer Keith Moon and, more recently, the sudden passing of bassist John Entwistle. Fittingly, Daltry was actually clutching a cup of tea for the whole song, saluting the audience (and perhaps his late mates) periodically during the choruses. A great end to a great show.

-e

Have We Gone Too Far? ...Nahhh.

Most people realize by now that one of the most lucrative markets to be in is the iPod accessories market. As a result, some very interesting products have popped up over the last few years. But none, as far as I can tell, are quite as useless/hilarious as the iPanty.

That's right, folks. The iPanty. I came across this lovely little item while reading last week's Billboard Magazine. It's being sold on thesexysociety.com... Says the website:

So techie chic! Perfect for those of us who love to lounge around in sexy undies all day AND have our music! Black lace panty with pink ribbon and removable pocket to hold iPod nano, money or other small personal items. Comes giftboxed and ready to give -- or receive ;-)

Yipe. So basically, this is for all the Paris Hilton wannabes who don't actually have a party to go to... or a DUI to receive. Awesome. What's next? The iBoxers? "For the man who refuses to wear pants in the house... But still wants his Nano near his Neener!"

But hey... If the public's incessant need to have their iPod on them at all times means we get too see more of this nice lady here:

...Then I'm all for it!

----------------------------

In other news, the Super Mario Bros. theme song has been the #1 downloaded ringtone for NINETY-EIGHT WEEKS!!!

Jeez. I bet that guy is kicking himself for not securing himself some rights.

-e

Best Album Title of the Day

Best Album Title of the Day:

"Oy to the World: A Klezmer Christmas"


hehe.

-e

Humans + Aliens = ...Asians?

This is the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time... So Vyuz.com recently published a rather interesting article. Apparently, this kook named David Reynolds, who is a professor and web master at Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon, CA believes that Asians are a result of interbreeding between aboriginal Earthlings from half a million years ago and--get this-- aliens. Martians, to be exact:

According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.

Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim. The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.

“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.

Wait... So we not only decended from Martians, but Martian monks? Awesome! Let's continue...

Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.

Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.

“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”

Isn't that what those weird science guys did on Lost? Hmm...

Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.

Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.

Yes... cause people to not have a spiritual foundation. Right. Who gave this guy his degree??!

Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.

Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.

“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”

Methinks "Professor" Reynolds has been watching a little too much Star Trek. However, the idea that I could be the long lost cousin of some Martian kid is kind of cool, I guess...

...Wait a minute. What the fuck! This dude is crazy.

Your Martian half-blood,

-e

Best Album/Song Title of the Day

Artist: Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

Album: Black music for white people

Song: Ignant and Shit


...Awesome.


-e

RIP Crocodile Hunter!

Oh man... One of the world's most famous Aussies died! Steve Irwin, aka "The Crocodile Hunter," died while swimming around with a giant stingray off the coast of Cairns, Australia (the Great Barrier Reef, basically). Says Yahoo News:

Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.

"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.


Apparently, Irwin's death was partially just bad luck:

Stingrays have a serrated, toxin-loaded barb, or spine, on the top of their tail. The barb, which can be up to 10 inches long, flexes if a ray is frightened. Stings usually occur to people when they step on or swim too close to a ray and can be excruciatingly painful but are rarely fatal, said University of Queensland marine neuroscientist Shaun Collin.

Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart.

"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," Collin said.

Either way, I'm sure much of the world will miss that crazy Croc Hunter!

-e

Rain Rain (and Loud Neighbors) Go Away...

Rainy Saturdays are just lame. Rainy Sundays? Now that's okay. After all, Sundays are meant for lazing about inside, or perhaps a movie. But Saturday? That's a day that should be reserved for outdoor activity, seeing friends, and going out. Bleh.

Anyhow, this morning, I had the pleasure (or displeasure) of waking up not once, not twice, but THREE times. First at 6am, then 10am, then finally I rolled out of bed around 11:45am. Now, the thing that's interesting about this is the method by which I was woken up the first two times. That is, my neighbors. Who were having sex. Loudly.

The back of my apartment features a nice little "porch" or fire escape area, just big enough to have a few people sit outside and smoke cigars (or what have you). This general rear area of my apartment building is basically a long, narrow alleyway, made of brick and concrete. These conditions make it really, really easy to hear what's going on outside and, in this case, in the surrounding apartments (if their windows are open).

Apparently, my neighbors were feeling rather randy early this morning. Maybe the sunrise gave "rise" to something else? Who knows. Who cares. The fact is, it did, they did, and I was awake way too early.

Grumpily yours,

-e

In Memory of Mitch

Mitch Hedberg once said, "I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out-of-order" sign. Just 'Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"

The other week, I was at the Barnes & Nobles bookstore in Union Square when I came upon this sign:



It made me happy and sad at the same time. Here's to the great Mitch Hedberg!

-e

US Open!

Yesterday, I had the privilege of attending the first day of the 2006 US Open. Jackie's relative had some connections to the tournament and scored a few tickets, one of which Jackie generously gave to me :)

I realized while waiting in the gigantic line outside the USTA complex that this event was the first major sporting event that I had ever been to. I'd never been to any World Series game, or Superbowl, or whatever. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I'm not a HUGE fan of any of these sports in particular. But needless to say, I was feeling pretty excited to even be at such a big tournament.

In general, the matches we saw that first day were, as could've been expected, rather lopsided. The first match of the day was between Justine Henin-Hardenne (BEL) Maria Elena Camerin (ITA). Henin-Hardenne took the match 6-1, 6-2.



Up next was Andy Roddick (USA) vs. Florent Serra (FRA). Roddick was relentless... It was clear from the first game that Serra was no match for Roddick's 148 mph serves or his super intense mental game. Poor Serra was broken by the second set and Roddick ended up taking the match 6-2, 6-1, 6-3. But much to my chagrin, Roddick turned out to be just as big of an ass as everyone said he was. During the last set, despite the fact that he was clearly about to win the match, he started bitching and moaning to the line judges about their calls. Then after winning the match, he skipped about half of the kids waiting on the side of the court for his autograph (which, by the way, consisted of little more than Roddick gripping the marker with his whole fist, scratching it back and forth on their tennis ball, and not even looking at the wide-eyed kid whose ball he was signing). Class act, that Roddick. Class act.

Anyhow, the last match of the day was between the venerable Lindsay Davenport (USA) and relative newcomer Klara Zakopalova (CZE). At 6'2", Davenport towered over the seemingly tiny Zakopalova (who is 5'5"). Time after time, Zakapalova's racket would whack the ground as she lunged, unsuccessfully, after Davenport's serves. The first set was a joke, pretty much. It looked like the 24-year old Czech player was making a bit of a comeback during the second set... but my theory is that Davenport was just giving her a little more playing time before ending it. A kind gesture, if it was indeed the case. And if not, then kudos to Zakapalova for putting up a good fight!

Sadly, we did not get to see Andre Agassi's super dramatic match against Pavel, since our tickets were only for the day matches. It's too bad I won't get to see Agassi play at the US Open ever again! But all in all, I'm really glad I got to go. Now I want to learn how to play tennis :)

-e

Don't Download This Song

Every once in a while, a song comes along that will change the face of the music industry-- nay... the entire world.

...This song, however, is not that song.

Instead, this song is just f-ing hilarious. Yet another brilliant protrusion from the spiny genius of Weird Al Yankovic's mind.

Don't Download This Song!


Awesome.

-e

Laundromats Are Expensive

This may seem like a no-brainer to most people, but JEBUS, these laundromats are expensive! I normally don't use them, since I"m lucky enough to have a brother that lives close by and has a washer/dryer in his apartment. But enough about that...

In other news, J & E and I were recently featured in the NYU Music Business online newsletter, The Showcase. It features a not-all-that-great-looking-picture of yours truly. You can check the article here.

Alright... Back to the laundromat. Whee!

-e

A whole new blog

As many of you know, I kept a travel blog this summer while I was in Australia and Korea. And besides having a nice record of my adventures abroad, I also remembered why I started blogging in the first place. It's the same reason why I created my own website back in college. Basically, it's because I like blogging! (Yes, I know, a HUGE stretch of the imagination).

Anyhow, first, an explanation of the title of the blog. My personal website (v3.0) is currently dedicated to my fledgling music career. However, before that, eugenesong.com (v2.x) used to be more about myself, my friends, family and other interests.... and, as you can guess, it was called hugeTHOUGHTS. Thus, I've brought the name out of retirement. Ta-da!

And second... well... Okay, I don't have a "second" right now. This was just the innaugural post to get this new blog going. So, with that, I'm going to sign off. I hope you check back again soon!

later,

-e

Memoirs of a Showgir-- I mean, Geisha

In this week's Village Voice, Dennis Lim reviews Rob Marshall's Memoirs of a Geisha. And man, it isn't pretty...

...But it is really, really funny.

Some favorite quotes:

"The movie version of Golden's bestseller, from the director of Chicago, comes up with a new angle: In this garish pageant of dragon-lady vamping and drag-queen catfights, the geisha experience is roughly akin to working the bar at Lucky Cheng's."

"Swaddled in the posh vulgarity that passes for awards-season elegance, Memoirs is deluxe orientalist kitsch, a would-be cross between Showgirls and Raise the Red Lantern, too dumb to cause offense though falling short of the oblivious abandon that could have vaulted it into high camp."

"Rob Marshall's movie is something of a lip-synch disaster: Chinese actresses play Japanese geisha (in a period concurrent with the Sino-Japanese war) and speak English the way Hollywood has always imagined Asians do, all stilted syntax and awkward enunciations ("You are! To become! Geisha!")."

"Sold into an okiya in childhood, mysteriously blue-eyed Sayuri (Ziyi Zhang), often shot through bars and slats in case we fail to grasp her caged condition, longs to escape servitude—to become! geisha!—which she does under the tutelage of the kindly Mameha (Michelle Yeoh)..."

"And in the scheme of this movie, which dispenses with pesky World War II in one or two sonorous voiceover lines, what Sayuri wants, Sayuri gets."

"With Marshall preoccupied picking out fabrics and lacquer veneers, the task of directing the actors seems to have fallen to the beleaguered dialect coach. To complement the clashing accents, Memoirs is a free-for-all of wildly divergent acting styles. Zhang's phonetic struggles are the most (mis)pronounced, but she throws herself heartily into the film's hilariously anachronistic big number, a splashy expressionist routine on platform clogs that would have cleaned up on So You Think You Can Dance?"

"Clad in chinchilla-fringed outfits and hurling sidelong death glares, Gong's viperous Hatsumomo wipes the floor with Zhang's cowering Sayuri: "I shall destroy you!" she hisses in the most Showgirls-like scene."

He compares it, twice, to Showgirls. 'Nuff said.

-e

Second-Hand Cabin Depressurization

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) -- A French woman who is terrified of flying admitted in an Australian court Monday that she drunkenly tried to open an airplane door mid-flight to smoke a cigarette.

Wow....

She walked toward one of the aircraft's emergency exits with an unlit cigarette and a lighter in her hand and began tampering with the door, prosecutors said. But a flight attendant intervened and took Sellies back to her seat.

It's a good thing she wasn't in an emergency exit row.

Defense lawyer Helen Shilton told the court Sellies was terrified of flying and had taken sleeping tablets with alcohol before takeoff.

I hear sleeping pills and alcohol go real well together. Kind of like cocaine and Drano.

Shilton said Sellies has no memory of what happened on the flight and that she has a history of sleepwalking.

Sleepwalking?! This just gets worse and worse...

But Magistrate Gordon Dean sternly warned the woman: "You must understand, if you are on a plane you must behave yourself."

Yes! And that means no touchie the cabin door while on Unisom and Jack Daniels!

Sellies, who did not speak in court and was aided by a translator, was placed on a 1,000 Australian dollar (US$734; euro623) bond -- meaning she will have to pay that amount if she commits another offense in the next 12 months.

Someone please tell me that this woman isn't going to ever get on another plane ever in her entire (or at least my entire) life!

-e

Bush Thwarted by Locked Doors

Our favorite funnyman, George W. Bush, embarrassed himself and our country once again yesterday as he tried to dart out of a press conference after being told by a reporter that he seemed unenthusiastic and a little "off his game."


"Holy Jeebers, Batman! This must be some sort of high-tech security force field..."

Elevator Karma

On my way from my cubicle to the elevator today, I sighed to myself and thought "well, the workday is done, but now I have to sit and wait for this stupid elevator."

See, the elevator in our building is notoriously slow. But on top of that, it teases you into thinking that it's actually coming by groaning and grunting the way most elevators do when they are coming up to meet you. But nooo... this one still takes for-frickin'-ever to get anywhere.

So, I hit the "down" button and, lo and behold, I heard a *ding* and the elevator doors slid open! The warm and inviting elevator car was just sitting there, waiting for me to get in... It was as if it was saying "C'mon, Eugene! You get a free ride today! And ice cream!"

Despite the fact that there was no ice cream in sight, I decided that, for once, the elevator gods had decided to take some pity on me. I had paid my dues, and made my offerings. And it was time to collect. So I took my quick, wait-free ride down to the first floor, and headed off to the library.

Yes, today was a good day.

-e

How hard is it to wrap a sub?!

Okay, so today I decided to try something new. Instead of gorging myself on delicious NYC pizza, I went for a healthier option and walked over to Subway instead.

I ordered a Oriental Chinky Chinaman Chicken Onion something-er-other sandwich to go... Now, before I go on, I want to make it known that, having worked in a few food service establishments, I feel somewhat justified criticising stupidity at other food services establishments... if for no other reason than, well, i know I can do a better job, and I have in the past.

Alright... so I walk back to my office and sit down at my desk, very hungry and looking forward to eating my Far East Kung Fu Chicken Sandwich with extra Slanty Eye Terriaki Sauce... I put the bag down on my desk, only to notice there's a weird bulge at the bottom.

"Gee, I think to myself, what could this be? Did my Chinaman try to escape my hungry mandibles?"

Well, long story short, the incompetent Subway worker managed to wrap my sandwich in exactly the wrong way, as to allow all the sandwich contents to spill out of the roll and collect at the bottom of my bag. I had to pick up all the pieces of my Bucktoothed Laundromat-Owning, Supermarket-Running, SARS-Contracting Chicken sandwich and drop them back into my whole wheat roll.

I mean, how hard is it to wrap a sandwich so that the innards don't leak out??

THAT's what I get for being healthy!! Gah!!

-e

In with the new, out with the old...

So... to recap the last couple of months:

- I bid farewell to my home of three years, Boston, MA and trucked all my stuff home to NJ (temporarily, as I will explain later).

- My family and I took a trip out to the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and the Navajo Indian Reservation. It was our first family outing in probably 8 years! Took lots of photos.

- Had one day of rest at home before flying down to New Orleans to attend the wedding of my good friends Brad and Liz. Found out the true value of "Hand Grenades." Took a ton of great photos.

- Had one more day of rest at home before flying out to Europe with Linds. We hit Amsterdam, Geneva, Venice, Florence, Rome, Vernazza, Barcelona, Granada, Madrid and Paris! Met up with many friends (Alok, Alex, Mike, Jen, Kristen), made some new ones, and generally had a fantastic time. We ate more than our fill of mouth-watering food, took in some awe-inspiring sights, and bought some neat-o gifts. Took 1.5 gigs of photos. For more on this, for now, see our travel blog.

- Came back to NJ to rest and recover from all my travels... only to find that my hard drive had died. Luckily, this happened before I uploaded all our photos from Europe... but also happened before I backed up any of my photos from our family trip or Brad/Liz's wedding. I was not pleased.

- Ordered a new hard drive to replace the broken one... And finally made a purchase I had been waiting a whole year to make: I bought myself a shiny new 15-inch Powerbook! ...oh, and it didn't hurt that a shiny new iPod mini came with it (I love being a student).

- Ah yes, I almost forgot... Soon, I will leave home once again, but this time with most of my stuff, and move over to Brooklyn, NY, where I will spend at least the next two years while attending grad school at NYU. Rock on.

Phew... Anyhow, hopefully I'll get those Europe photos up soon. And with some luck (alright, a whole lotta luck) I might be able to resurrect some files/photos from my dearly (mostly) departed hard drive. Meanwhile, I will be relaxing, getting back into some sort of shape, playing ultimate, and maybe (just maybe) recording some music.

later,

-e

Showered with... Pastries?

Today marks the end of an era for me. It was my last day of employment at Golden Cage Music. My employment there has been interesting. It's been... well... quite a ride. Working there can be quite stressful at times and the rewards are not always tangible (or even recognizable, at the time). I fully expected to walk out of there cheering and jumping for joy, like I'd just won some weird one-and-a-half year long marathon.

But instead, there was a strange sense of calm... It first hit me earlier this week, when I realized this was my last week at work. That was significant not necessarily because it signaled the end of my employment there, but the beginning of the next two years of my life.

My day began like most others: I got up, showered, ate, and drove to work. Within the first half hour, I was given a blueberry coffee cake, 4 of my favorite muffins from the local coffee shop (cinnamon apple spice.. yum) and a decaf coffee (by my request). I was showered with pastries. It was great.

Tonight, my Boston friends and I will gather to eat barbeque and then go out to karaoke. A fitting end to what has been a pretty great day so far, I'd say.

-e

Almost there...

So many interesting things will be happening in the next few months... My last day at work is in a week. Then I'll be moving from Boston back home... from where I will be traveling to Arizona for a week, New Orleans for 4 days, and then Europe for a whole month! Then it's back home to relax and write/record some music... Then in September, I'll be moving to NYC to start grad school at NYU's music business masters program.

The anticipation is killing me!

-e

Better Late Than...?

"The first lady raises a valid point. Since it would take years for stem cell research to find a cure for Alzheimer's, why start? It makes no sense. If you can only save people eventually, you're really doing a disservice."

--Jon Stewart, on Laura Bush's claim that embryonic stem cell research is too preliminary and gives people false hope

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg...

I just found out that one of my all-time favorite comedians was found dead yesterday. Mitch Hedberg was a comic genius, and his passing is truly a loss to the world of entertainment and comedy.

To be honest, I feel a little weird writing such mushy stuff about the passing of a stand-up comedian. But I thought about it for a while .... and realized that he's really the first celebrity or well-known person whose death actually makes me sad. His comedy has made me laugh 'til my sides hurt more times than I can remember... his jokes cheered me up on numerous occassions... His humor influenced almost every one of my close friends and shaped the way we think of jokes and comedy. My singing group in college even named our album after one of his jokes ("Dry Clean Only").

An excerpt from the MTV news link above states:

Much like Steven Wright, Hedberg was a master of the sharp-as-glass-shards one-liner ("Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something"; "I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy"; "When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.' ") His comical, almost-too-obvious observations about life's subtle peculiarities inspired Time magazine to declare the stand-up comic "the next Seinfeld" in 2000.

R.I.P., Mitch.

-e

Happy Valentine's Day!

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Excuse me, waiter...

...There's a bug in my kung-pao chicken!!

A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I went to Chinatown Seafood in Coolidge Corner (Brookline, MA) to get some dinner. It was the night of the blizzard, so the place was nearly empty.

We ordered some soup, a seafood medley, and a plate of kung-pao chicken. After about 45 minutes, everything had come out except the chicken. Shortly thereafter, the waitress came over and annouces, "Here is your kung-pow beef!"

"Um," my girlfriend said, "I ordered kung-pao chicken, not beef." The waitress looked surprised, then slightly offended, as if to say "Of course you ordered the f--ing beef, you idiot." She took the plate back without so much as a sorry and stalked off back to the kitchen. We were pretty sure that we got the order right, since my girlfriend doesn't eat red meat. Anyhow, another 15 minutes expired, along with most of the seafood dish, until finally the waitress came back with the correct dish.

We dug into the steaming plate of chicken, vegetables and peanuts. I was muching happily on the mixture, taking small sips of my Tsing-Tao beer every now and then, when all of a sudden, I hear my girlfriend say in a low, but distressed tone, "EW... Oh ... My... God..."

Now, knowing my girlfriend can be picky about the meat she eats, I expected to look up and see her holding a questionable piece of chicken in her chopsticks. Boy, was I wrong. Instead, I looked up to find her poking at a DEAD BUG that had been mixed in with the rest of the chicken.

I've worked in restaurants before. I know that, sometimes, restaurant kitchens aren't quite as clean as you'd expect them to be. But I've never actually seen this sort of thing happen.

We signaled the waitress again. She came over and almost whisked away the plates without a second glance. We stopped her and pointed out the little creature in our food. Once again, she didn't show the slightest bit of regard for the mistake and said "Oh okay, we'll bring out another one."

When we asked about getting a discount on the check, she said "We don't normally do that. But I'll ask my manager." Right.

In the end, they offered us a 15% discount. Too tired and too nauseous to argue, we just left it at that.

Ugh. Consider yourself warned. Don't ever go over to that awful place. You might eat more than you bargained for.

-e

Bizzaro Me

So during my freshman year, me and my friends started noticing we all had doppelgangers around campus. Except we called them "bizzaro's" (anyone catch the reference? Think Superman...) Anyhow, almost all of my friends had bizzaro's... Some of the resemblances were astoundingly uncanny.

One day, one of my friends told me that he said hi to some guy who looked exactly like me. He had found my bizzaro. I kept hearing about this look-alike, but never saw him myself. Some of this guy's friends mistook me for him... One went so far as to whack me in the back of the head with a rolled up newspaper and shout "hey, what's up man??" When I just stared at him in shock (and awe) he then commented "whoa, when did you get braces?" (I had braces back then... Yes, yes, laugh it up). It took him a good 45 seconds of me staring at him before he realized that he had made a mistake.

This sort of thing went on for another year... I saw him from time to time... He had the same long-hair, part-down-the-middle hair-cut... Wore the same glasses... Was about the same height and body-type, etc... Finally, during my sophomore year, we passed each other in the hallway. After we passed each other, his friend who was with him at the time went, "dun dun DUN!" (like the scary, dramatic music cue).

Later that year, I was sitting at lunch with my buddy Anup and some other folks, when we saw my bizzaro across the dining hall. One of my friends made some comment about him.. Anup turns around and sees him and says "Oh him? Roland? I know him, he's cool!" After my friends made a few more "bizzaro" references, Anup goes "dammit, I'm going to put an end to this..." And gets up, walks over to Roland, drags him over to our table, introduces us, and says, "THERE! IT'S DONE! IT'S OVER!"

From that day forth, the awkwardness was over. He lives in Boston, actually. Strangely enough, his hair is now short... Kind of like mine....

...Dun dun DUN!!!

-e

Donuts & Solitaire?

I know it's been a stupid long time since I posted... and I don't have time to write something substantial just yet, but I had to share this story:

So y'know how police cars have those little laptops in them now? These things must be good for catching bad guys, or something, right? Well, I'm driving down the street the other day, and I stop at a stop light next to a cop car... I look over and what do you suppose I see the cop doing on his computer?

...That's right. He's playing solitaire.

Our tax money hard at work, people.

-e