Thursday, September 21, 2006

Best Album Title of the Day

While browsing around, I found this gem:

That's right. "Gothic Vampires From Hell & Covered In Goth"

...Soooo... Is this a goth album? I'm just not sure.


A True "Handy" Man

Boy, the things guys will do to impress girls. recently posted a story about this doctor who was trying to impress a stripper by showering her with gifts. The only problem was, well... the gift:
NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey (AP) -- A doctor has pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand from a New Jersey medical school cadaver and giving it to an exotic dancer, authorities said.

Okay... so now you understand the corny title of this entry. Moving on...

Ahmed Rashed, a 2005 graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, was charged Monday after voluntarily returning from Los Angeles, California, where he is in a residency program, said his lawyer, Hassen Abdellah. Rashed, 26, is free on $1,000 bail.

As if folks with Mulsim-sounding names weren't getting enough bad press these days, this tool had to go and do something retarded like this.

The dancer, Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom. Friends have said she called the hand "Freddy."

Aw, how cute. And by "cute" I mean "utterly and deeply disturbing."

Police discovered the hand, along with six human skulls, at Kay's home in July after being called there on a report that a roommate was suicidal. The roommate was not home, but Kay was.

Ohhh... So it was the ROOMMATE's fault he got caught! See, this is why I don't like roommates. They get all suicidal which attracts attention, then the police take my preserved body parts away. Sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.

Kay, 31, has pleaded not guilty to unlawful disposal of human remains. Her mother has said she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

Way to go, mom.

The charge against Rashed carries up to 10 years in prison.

C'mon now. The man was just trying to impress a stripper! If we all went to jail for 10 years for stealing human body parts to give to our stripper girlfriends, well shit... There wouldn't be any of us left!


PS - I hope everyone reading this is happy that I avoided cheesy puns using the word "hand" (aside from the title). For instance, "I have to HAND it to Rashed..." or "Strippers make money HAND over fist..." or um... okay that's all I got.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I SAW THE WHO!! (for free!)

So yesterday, thanks to a oh-so-well-timed IM/e-mail from my good friend (perhaps new best friend) Goose, I learned about a very short lived ticket special at school today: They were GIVING AWAY tickets to see THE WHO (my most favorite band in the entire world) at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!! Needless to say, after learning about this, I left work and RAN (literally) down 5 flights of stairs, 3 blocks and up another flight of stairs to the on-campus ticket booth. Good thing there were two people ahead of me so that I could sort of catch my breath before asking for my tickets (I'm really out of shape, okay?). And as luck would have it, they had tickets left! So my brother and I got to head up to the Garden to see our favorite band! Both of us had seen The Who once previously so we knew we were in for a treat.

It was my first time at MSG and I couldn't help but feel a little sense of awe at entering such a historic venue. Our seats were pretty far back (in section 349, for anyone who knows MSG real well), but they were directly in line with the stage. And as it turns out, the Garden is a relatively small place for being such a major arena. There was maybe a 1/32 beat sound delay between the stage and our seats.

Anyhow, we arrived a little on the early side (for a concert anyway) and unfortunately managed to catch a very, very bad opening band. Actually, no, I take that back. They weren't THAT bad... They were just very inappropriate for this particular show. It was a band called The Peeping Toms, which sounded like a mix of Faith No More, Maroon 5, and Cypress Hill... I later discovered that this band is actually Mike Patton's new project (Patton is the lead singer from Faith No More). Anyone who knows any one of those bands might understand why the booker or promoter that put this bill together must have been on crack when he had this brilliant idea. I've never heard an opening band at a major show like this boo'd so much.

Three beers, a jumbo hot dog, and about 30 minutes later, The Peeping Toms were finally done. We eagerly returned to our seats to await the start of what promised to be an amazing show. Our promptness was rewarded when, after a relatively short change over, the lights went down, the crowd went crazy, and The Who took the stage.

They opened with one of their oldest hits, "I Can't Explain" (which happens to be playing on my iTunes right now, actually), then went right on into "The Seeker" followed by "Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere." They then threw out a few newer songs, the names of which I don't recall right now, unfortunately. But they didn't leave us hanging for too long... They cranked out a blistering "Who Are You" as well as grand "Baba O'Riley." So amazing.

Then in the middle of the show, they did a medly of 6 songs from their new mini-opera. It's a story about a band's humble beginnings, rise to fame, eventual decline, and, well, some other issues that they didn't really go into very much... Loosely based on the members of The Who, the 6-song journey was a refreshing breath of new material from the aging genius, (and one of my idols) Pete Townshend.

On a quick side note, Pete's brother Simon was playing rhythm guitar and singing backing vocals. I thought this was pretty cool of ol' Pete to allow his younger brother to chill out on stage with him :) Also filling out the band was drummer Zac Starkey, Ringo Star's son. Man, was this guy awesome. He's pretty laid back, all in all... But when he needs to bring it, consider it brought.

Anyhow, then it was right back into the great old hits, like "Won't Get Fooled Again," (see above picture) "Eminence Front," and the anthemic "My Generation." Thus ended the first set... And, per tradition, after a quick break, they came back on to do another short set. This time, Townshend and Daltry came out alone and did an acoustic version of a newer song (again, I don't recall the name). Then, with the whole band back on stage, Townshend played perhaps one of the most famous intros in the history of rock 'n' roll: the opening to Pinball Wizard. I freaked. They then proceeded to play several songs from their most famous rock opera, Tommy, including "Amazing Journey," "Sparks," and of course the finale "See Me, Feel Me" (see below pic). I was in musical heaven. I never got to see them play so many songs from Tommy the last time I saw them (although I did get to see Quadrophenia in its entirety, which was great).

To top off the evening, the rest of the band left the stage one last time and Pete and Roger did a surprisingly touching duet (again, no name in my brain) which basically painted a picture of two aging rock stars sitting down to have some tea and talking about all they've accomplished-- and all they've lost. I think most people had a pretty good feeling that there were allusions to the death of their original drummer Keith Moon and, more recently, the sudden passing of bassist John Entwistle. Fittingly, Daltry was actually clutching a cup of tea for the whole song, saluting the audience (and perhaps his late mates) periodically during the choruses. A great end to a great show.


Monday, September 18, 2006

Have We Gone Too Far? ...Nahhh.

Most people realize by now that one of the most lucrative markets to be in is the iPod accessories market. As a result, some very interesting products have popped up over the last few years. But none, as far as I can tell, are quite as useless/hilarious as the iPanty.

That's right, folks. The iPanty. I came across this lovely little item while reading last week's Billboard Magazine. It's being sold on Says the website:

So techie chic! Perfect for those of us who love to lounge around in sexy undies all day AND have our music! Black lace panty with pink ribbon and removable pocket to hold iPod nano, money or other small personal items. Comes giftboxed and ready to give -- or receive ;-)

Yipe. So basically, this is for all the Paris Hilton wannabes who don't actually have a party to go to... or a DUI to receive. Awesome. What's next? The iBoxers? "For the man who refuses to wear pants in the house... But still wants his Nano near his Neener!"

But hey... If the public's incessant need to have their iPod on them at all times means we get too see more of this nice lady here:

...Then I'm all for it!


In other news, the Super Mario Bros. theme song has been the #1 downloaded ringtone for NINETY-EIGHT WEEKS!!!

Jeez. I bet that guy is kicking himself for not securing himself some rights.


Best Album Title of the Day

Best Album Title of the Day:

"Oy to the World: A Klezmer Christmas"



Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Humans + Aliens = ...Asians?

This is the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time... So recently published a rather interesting article. Apparently, this kook named David Reynolds, who is a professor and web master at Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon, CA believes that Asians are a result of interbreeding between aboriginal Earthlings from half a million years ago and--get this-- aliens. Martians, to be exact:

According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.

Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim. The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.

“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.

Wait... So we not only decended from Martians, but Martian monks? Awesome! Let's continue...

Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.

Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.

“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”

Isn't that what those weird science guys did on Lost? Hmm...

Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.

Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.

Yes... cause people to not have a spiritual foundation. Right. Who gave this guy his degree??!

Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.

Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.

“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”

Methinks "Professor" Reynolds has been watching a little too much Star Trek. However, the idea that I could be the long lost cousin of some Martian kid is kind of cool, I guess...

...Wait a minute. What the fuck! This dude is crazy.

Your Martian half-blood,


Monday, September 11, 2006

Best Album/Song Title of the Day

Artist: Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

Album: Black music for white people

Song: Ignant and Shit



Monday, September 04, 2006

RIP Crocodile Hunter!

Oh man... One of the world's most famous Aussies died! Steve Irwin, aka "The Crocodile Hunter," died while swimming around with a giant stingray off the coast of Cairns, Australia (the Great Barrier Reef, basically). Says Yahoo News:

Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.

"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.

Apparently, Irwin's death was partially just bad luck:

Stingrays have a serrated, toxin-loaded barb, or spine, on the top of their tail. The barb, which can be up to 10 inches long, flexes if a ray is frightened. Stings usually occur to people when they step on or swim too close to a ray and can be excruciatingly painful but are rarely fatal, said University of Queensland marine neuroscientist Shaun Collin.

Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart.

"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," Collin said.

Either way, I'm sure much of the world will miss that crazy Croc Hunter!


Saturday, September 02, 2006

Rain Rain (and Loud Neighbors) Go Away...

Rainy Saturdays are just lame. Rainy Sundays? Now that's okay. After all, Sundays are meant for lazing about inside, or perhaps a movie. But Saturday? That's a day that should be reserved for outdoor activity, seeing friends, and going out. Bleh.

Anyhow, this morning, I had the pleasure (or displeasure) of waking up not once, not twice, but THREE times. First at 6am, then 10am, then finally I rolled out of bed around 11:45am. Now, the thing that's interesting about this is the method by which I was woken up the first two times. That is, my neighbors. Who were having sex. Loudly.

The back of my apartment features a nice little "porch" or fire escape area, just big enough to have a few people sit outside and smoke cigars (or what have you). This general rear area of my apartment building is basically a long, narrow alleyway, made of brick and concrete. These conditions make it really, really easy to hear what's going on outside and, in this case, in the surrounding apartments (if their windows are open).

Apparently, my neighbors were feeling rather randy early this morning. Maybe the sunrise gave "rise" to something else? Who knows. Who cares. The fact is, it did, they did, and I was awake way too early.

Grumpily yours,