This is the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time... So Vyuz.com recently published a rather interesting article. Apparently, this kook named David Reynolds, who is a professor and web master at Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon, CA believes that Asians are a result of interbreeding between aboriginal Earthlings from half a million years ago and--get this-- aliens. Martians, to be exact:
According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.
Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim. The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.
“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.
Wait... So we not only decended from Martians, but Martian monks? Awesome! Let's continue...
Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.
Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.
“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”
Isn't that what those weird science guys did on Lost? Hmm...
Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.
Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.
Yes... cause people to not have a spiritual foundation. Right. Who gave this guy his degree??!
Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.
Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.
“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”
Methinks "Professor" Reynolds has been watching a little too much Star Trek. However, the idea that I could be the long lost cousin of some Martian kid is kind of cool, I guess...
...Wait a minute. What the fuck! This dude is crazy.
Your Martian half-blood,
-e
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