A True "Handy" Man

Boy, the things guys will do to impress girls. CNN.com recently posted a story about this doctor who was trying to impress a stripper by showering her with gifts. The only problem was, well... the gift:

NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey (AP) -- A doctor has pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand from a New Jersey medical school cadaver and giving it to an exotic dancer, authorities said.

Okay... so now you understand the corny title of this entry. Moving on...

Ahmed Rashed, a 2005 graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, was charged Monday after voluntarily returning from Los Angeles, California, where he is in a residency program, said his lawyer, Hassen Abdellah. Rashed, 26, is free on $1,000 bail.

As if folks with Mulsim-sounding names weren't getting enough bad press these days, this tool had to go and do something retarded like this.

The dancer, Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom. Friends have said she called the hand "Freddy."

Aw, how cute. And by "cute" I mean "utterly and deeply disturbing."

Police discovered the hand, along with six human skulls, at Kay's home in July after being called there on a report that a roommate was suicidal. The roommate was not home, but Kay was.

Ohhh... So it was the ROOMMATE's fault he got caught! See, this is why I don't like roommates. They get all suicidal which attracts attention, then the police take my preserved body parts away. Sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.

Kay, 31, has pleaded not guilty to unlawful disposal of human remains. Her mother has said she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

Way to go, mom.

The charge against Rashed carries up to 10 years in prison.

C'mon now. The man was just trying to impress a stripper! If we all went to jail for 10 years for stealing human body parts to give to our stripper girlfriends, well shit... There wouldn't be any of us left!

-e

PS - I hope everyone reading this is happy that I avoided cheesy puns using the word "hand" (aside from the title). For instance, "I have to HAND it to Rashed..." or "Strippers make money HAND over fist..." or um... okay that's all I got.