Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Spike's Junkyard Dogs -- Original Thayer St. Location to Close


September 28th is going to be a sad, sad day in Providence, RI... It is the day that the original Thayer St. Providence, RI location of Spike's Junkyard Dogs is closing its doors.

No longer will local college students be able to stumble along its chain-link fence partitions after a long night of beruit and flip cup, barely glancing at the menu (because they already know what they want... oh yes, they know...) before ordering a Big Dave's Deluxe, Texas Ranger, and/or a Chilli and Cheddar, then jockying for a space at one of the few booths or stools.

Spike's hot dogs are no ordinary hot dogs... The franks are big, fat, and 100% beef. Now, granted, hot dog franks are generally not terribly healthy for you. But as far as hot dogs go, Spike's is top notch. Their buns weren't your run-of-the-mill, thin, wimpy, buy-em-at-the-supermarket hot dog buns either. They were big, fresh-baked, and delicious.

If you've never had a Spike's dog before, allow me to assist you in comprehending the scope and majesty of the greatness that is Spike's. Imagine the best hot dog you've ever had. Except make it delicious. Then a little more delicious. At that point, your imaginary hot dog is about as tasty as a Spike's dog that's been dropped on the ground and pooped on. That's right. Your hot dog sucks compared to Spike's.

And don't give me this Crif Dog shit either... Eating a Crif Dog is like taking your pet pig (or pitbull) to the prom. You can dress it up any way you'd like, but when it comes down to it, you're still slow dancing with a pig. Eating a Spike's Junkyard Dog is like taking five supermodels to the prom who also happen to be Rhodes Scholars, have worked three years with Peace Corps, Americorps, AND the Marine Corps, and are totally freaky in the bedroom.

The one silver lining in all this is that the other 9 locations are going to remain open... For now. But they can't survive without your support! Go find your nearest Spike's and start eating hot dogs today!! (They even have vegetarian dogs for you non-meat-eaters!)

4 comments:

pooblehwah said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....I raise my paper cup of lemon lime slice to you, Spikes. Brown won't be the same without you.

Unknown said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Darn it, I *thought* I sensed a great disturbance in the force...

Anonymous said...

Think about how traumatized I was, driving all the way from Bronx NY, dreaming about a delicious Spikes hotdog with all the trimmings, an order of curly fries and a cold frosty beverage only to turn onto Thayer Street and see an abandoned location. I had to circle the block twice to make sure I was not hallucinating. It is great that the other locations are still open, but that is of little comfort to me, when I think of not being able to relive my college days with a juicy hotdog from Spikes (on Thayer Street). I have even gone as far as to introduce my students (from the college I teach in NYC) to Spikes on a school field trip. Oh well, I guess life goes on. It just feels that as this y gets worse I keep losing my favorite spots. What's next??????

Euge said...

It's truly a tragedy. Going back to Brown is simply not going to be the same.