Nickname Potential

According to Brad, my name "has some serious nickname potential." Allow Brad to demonstrate:

if you're sad: bluegene
if you move to a new place: newgene
if you get scared: boogene
if you're frustrated about something: stewgene
if you're drunk: brewgene
if you're getting it on with a chick: screwgene
if you smell: pewgene
if you're sick: flugene
if you just escaped from a dangerous situation: phewgene
if you're using the bathroom: poogene
if you're grossed out: ewgene
if you're involved in a multi-artist concert: lollapaloogene
if your apartment is cold in the wintertime: igloogene
if you're associated with a group whose mascot is a bear: baloogene
if something ain't quite right: askewgene
if you're doing something classically you: truegene

Ah Brad.

-e