The Joy of Scrabble

For all you Scrabble lovers (and haters) out there:



-e

And Then There's This Guy...

Steve "the Grape Guy" Spalding is looking to make the Guiness Book of World Records by catching grapes in his mouth. In fact, he's looking to set two records... One for most grapes caught in his mouth in 3 minutes (he did 116) and an endurance record (1,203 grapes caught in his mouth over a half hour from 15 feet away).

Sigh. It's simultaneously awesome and sad.

-e

UCLA Student Tasered for Refusing to Leave Library

Ah, America. Land of the free, home of the brave. Where students get tased FIVE TIMES because they plant bombs in... oh wait, no... because they were violent-- no... no, that wasn't it either.

Oh RIGHT... This UCLA student got tased five times by campus police because he wouldn't leave the library! GOD FORBID he learn something he's not supposed to!! Except, he was actually on his way out of the library, according to this UCLA newspaper article:

At around 11:30 p.m., CSOs asked a male student using a computer in the back of the room to leave when he was unable to produce a BruinCard during a random check. The student did not exit the building immediately.

The CSOs left, returning minutes later, and police officers arrived to escort the student out. By this time the student had begun to walk toward the door with his backpack when an officer approached him and grabbed his arm, at which point the student told the officer to let him go. A second officer then approached the student as well.

The student began to yell "get off me," repeating himself several times.

It was at this point that the officers shot the student with a Taser for the first time, causing him to fall to the floor and cry out in pain.

Did it stop there? No no. They proceeded to tase him four more times. All the while commanding him to "stand up." Now, excuse me for noticing this small problem, but how is someone supposed to STAND UP if you are REPEATEDLY TASING THEM?! Fucking idiot rent-a-cops.

Oh, and did I mention that the student is Iranian? Coincidence? I don't think so.

And how do I know what the cops were saying? Because someone, thankfully, got the whole thing on video:



An article in the LA Times noted that the officer had a history of fucked up behavior:

In May 1990, he was accused of using his nightstick to choke someone who was hanging out on a Saturday in front of a UCLA fraternity. Kente S. Scott alleged that Duren confronted him while he was walking on the street outside the Theta Xi fraternity house.

Scott sued the university, and according to court records, UCLA officials moved to have Duren dismissed from the police force. But after an independent administrative hearing, officials overturned the dismissal, suspending him for 90 days.

Duren on Monday disputed the allegations made by Scott.

In October 2003, Duren shot and wounded a homeless man he encountered in Kerckhoff Hall. Duren chased the man into a bathroom, where they struggled and he fired two shots.

The homeless man, Willie Davis Frazier, was later convicted of assaulting an officer. Duren said Frasier had tried to grab his gun during the struggle. But Frazier's attorney, John Raphling, said his client was mentally ill and didn't do anything to provoke the shooting.

Obviously a standup, shinning example of a campus police officer. And obviously very effective in his, um, despensing of justice.

This guy should be fucking tased over and over again to see how he likes it. Asshole.

-e

OJ: "If I did it..."

Sigh... OJ's back folks. That's right. He's coming out to say that he killed Nicol-- Oh wait. No no... He's coming out to say "well, I didn't do it... but if I did, here's how I would have done it..." C'mon, folks. Sometimes I read the CNN headlines and think, "Really? I mean... Really?"

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- In a new TV interview and book, O.J. Simpson discusses how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

Some people just can't stand to be out of the spotlight.

The two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air November 27 and November 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.

Heh... Big surprise, it's on Fox.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

Is it really that big of a deal that they'd dedicate two shows to it?

"This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. It's the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," Mike Darnell, executive vice president of alternative programming for Fox, said in a statement.

Last chapter my ass. You just wait. In a few years, it'll be Fox reporting, "OJ Simpson: I did it, suckas!!"

The interview, conducted with book publisher Judith Regan, will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale November 30. The book "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed," the network said.

Wait, so there's a book being published? And it's being released a few days after the interviews air? *gasp* ... big surprise.

Aren't there more important things to be reporting?

-e

Neighbors

I live near some crazy people.

A few weeks ago, I had an encounter with an old man in my neighborhood. I was driving around and kind of swerving to avoid the various obstacles in the street (pedestrians, bikers, etc) when I saw this old man crossing the street 2 blocks ahead. In typical old man fashion, he was walking ... very........ slowly. However, he was a little more than halfway across the street, so I leaned my car to the left a bit to curve around him. Pretty standard.

So what does the old guy do? He STOPS in the middle of the street (now I will no longer be able to avoid him) forcing me to slam on my brakes to avoid killing him. Why did he stop, you ask? To lecture me on driving too fast!! He just stopped in the middle of the road (not a crosswalk, mind you) held his hands out and screamed "STOP! STOP!!" Then he proceeded to yell at me about "this is not a racetrack" "why do you have to drive so fast," etc etc. I was thinking, "sorry, pops... maybe they didn't go so fast back in your time, but I really wasn't driving all that fast!"

So I sat there for a second and contemplated screaming back at him for almost making me run him over, but decided that yelling at some old crazy man in the middle of the street just wasn't worth my time. Instead, I just lowered my passenger side window and said very calmly, "I wasn't going to hit you, you know." Then I slowly drove around him and went on my merry way, while the old man kept yelling "No! Wait! Listen!!" Stupid old man.

Then there are the crazy people across the street from me... My street is really narrow, so the building across the street is quite close, and I can see and hear most of what goes on in there all the time. For instance, the rather obese boy with the really large bay windows refuses to put up shades or blinds, and instead changes in plain view of everyone on my side of the street. It's really quite unappetizing.

Anyhow, about every two days, all I hear over there is screaming and yelling from both children and adults. And I mean, all manner of curses and swears emanate from their house. I met the woman of the house, this nice lady named Dolores, when I first moved in. She asked me if I had any kids... when I replied "no no... not yet, anyway," she said she had three and asked me if I wanted them. Looking back I wonder if she was serious :p

Ah, neighbors.

-e

Happy Halloween!

(Thanks to Roibs for the pic)

-e

Black Sheep is BACK

You guys remember Black Sheep, right? Y'know... the guys that came up with:

Engine, Engine, Number Nine,
On the New York transit line,
If my train goes off the track,
Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up!

Yeah, that's them. Well, MCs Dres and Mista Lawnge are back at it again with a digital-only release called 8WM/NOVAKANE. If you want head bobbing, horn kicking, Black Sheep-a-licious hip-hop, check out "B Boys Theme" and "Whodat." If you want something a little more chill and, yes, sensitive, take a listen to "Be Careful." It's a fantastic album and a welcome surprise from one of the biggest hip-hop groups of the early-mid 90's.

Check it out on emusic or fo' sho'.

-e

Bush Uses "The Google"

Man. You gotta hand it to Bush. He may not know how to speak English... But does he let it stop him? Does he admit his mistakes? No! He just plows right along. This particular example has been all over "the internet" (perhaps Mr. Bush has heard of this new technology?). It goes something like this:

HOST: I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?

BUSH: Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It (garbled) remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.

"The Google"? "I kinda like to look at the ranch?"... Awesome. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America... The most powerful man on the planet... Leader of the free world... Mr. George W. (the) Bush:




-e

Weird Al Gets His

It's about freaking time! Weird Al has entertained millions of us with his ridiculous, yet oftentimes quite clever, parodies of all our favorite hits. I remember listening to my casette tape of "Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D" over and over again ("King of Suede"? I mean, c'mon! So awesome!). I loved the idea of getting "Stuck In A Closet with Vanna White," I thought twice about medicine when "Like a Surgeon" came out, and I certainly won't ever forget the amazing video for "Fat."

I could go on, but really, we all know he's great. And he's FINALLY hit the top 10! According to CNN.com:

"Weird Al" Yankovic's new album, "Straight Outta Lynwood," has scored the enduring song parodist his biggest chart successes in a career that spans nearly three decades. "Lynwood," Yankovic's 12th album, debuted this month at No. 10 on the Billboard 200, his first top 10 album ever. Meanwhile, the Chamillionaire parody "White and Nerdy," reached No. 9 on the Billboard Hot 100, besting his previous high of No. 12 with "Eat It" in 1984.

It's about freaking time! This man is a genius, ladies and gentlemen. With lyrics like:

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces

...you can't deny him! So let's give him his props. You can start by downloading this song:

Don't Download This Song

Cheers,

-e

Ban is IN

The BCC proclaimed today: "South Korean elected new UN chief"!



Rock on, Ban Ki-moon.

-e

ED-209, Anyone?

I've been super busy lately... But this one was too good to pass up. Does anyone remember the movie Robocop? Now, does anyone remember ED-209 from Robocop? Y'know, that insane security robot that went insane and killed some dude in a boardroom meeting? Well, check this article from the digital edition of the Chosun Ilbo:

Korea Develops Armed Security Guard Robot

Korea has unveiled an “intelligent” robotic security guard on Thursday. The Ministry of Commerce, Industry and Energy tested the robot in front of some 100 guests including the minister, Chung Sye-kyun. The robot has the ability to discern people and vehicles within a 2-km range in daytime and 1 km at night and of telling the difference between friend and foe by asking for a password when someone comes within 10 m of it.

When it identifies a suspicious individual, it sends a warning and can fire at intruders using a built-in K-3 machine gun or a non-lethal rubber bullet gun. The developer, Samsung Techwin, expects the robot to become commercially available in late 2007 for use in guarding sensitive facilities such as military units or airports.

Hehe...

ED-209: Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Dick Jones: I think you'd better do as he says, Mr. Kinney.

...seconds later...

[Dick Jones's ED-209 has malfunctioned during a demonstration, killing an office worker]
The Old Man: Dick, I'm very disappointed.
Dick Jones: I'm sure it's only a glitch. A temporary setback.
The Old Man: You call this a GLITCH?

Ah, ain't technology grand?

-e

Best Album Title of the Day

While browsing around emusic.com, I found this gem:


That's right. "Gothic Vampires From Hell & Covered In Goth"

...Soooo... Is this a goth album? I'm just not sure.

-e

A True "Handy" Man

Boy, the things guys will do to impress girls. CNN.com recently posted a story about this doctor who was trying to impress a stripper by showering her with gifts. The only problem was, well... the gift:

NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey (AP) -- A doctor has pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand from a New Jersey medical school cadaver and giving it to an exotic dancer, authorities said.

Okay... so now you understand the corny title of this entry. Moving on...

Ahmed Rashed, a 2005 graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, was charged Monday after voluntarily returning from Los Angeles, California, where he is in a residency program, said his lawyer, Hassen Abdellah. Rashed, 26, is free on $1,000 bail.

As if folks with Mulsim-sounding names weren't getting enough bad press these days, this tool had to go and do something retarded like this.

The dancer, Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom. Friends have said she called the hand "Freddy."

Aw, how cute. And by "cute" I mean "utterly and deeply disturbing."

Police discovered the hand, along with six human skulls, at Kay's home in July after being called there on a report that a roommate was suicidal. The roommate was not home, but Kay was.

Ohhh... So it was the ROOMMATE's fault he got caught! See, this is why I don't like roommates. They get all suicidal which attracts attention, then the police take my preserved body parts away. Sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.

Kay, 31, has pleaded not guilty to unlawful disposal of human remains. Her mother has said she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

Way to go, mom.

The charge against Rashed carries up to 10 years in prison.

C'mon now. The man was just trying to impress a stripper! If we all went to jail for 10 years for stealing human body parts to give to our stripper girlfriends, well shit... There wouldn't be any of us left!

-e

PS - I hope everyone reading this is happy that I avoided cheesy puns using the word "hand" (aside from the title). For instance, "I have to HAND it to Rashed..." or "Strippers make money HAND over fist..." or um... okay that's all I got.

I SAW THE WHO!! (for free!)

So yesterday, thanks to a oh-so-well-timed IM/e-mail from my good friend (perhaps new best friend) Goose, I learned about a very short lived ticket special at school today: They were GIVING AWAY tickets to see THE WHO (my most favorite band in the entire world) at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!! Needless to say, after learning about this, I left work and RAN (literally) down 5 flights of stairs, 3 blocks and up another flight of stairs to the on-campus ticket booth. Good thing there were two people ahead of me so that I could sort of catch my breath before asking for my tickets (I'm really out of shape, okay?). And as luck would have it, they had tickets left! So my brother and I got to head up to the Garden to see our favorite band! Both of us had seen The Who once previously so we knew we were in for a treat.

It was my first time at MSG and I couldn't help but feel a little sense of awe at entering such a historic venue. Our seats were pretty far back (in section 349, for anyone who knows MSG real well), but they were directly in line with the stage. And as it turns out, the Garden is a relatively small place for being such a major arena. There was maybe a 1/32 beat sound delay between the stage and our seats.

Anyhow, we arrived a little on the early side (for a concert anyway) and unfortunately managed to catch a very, very bad opening band. Actually, no, I take that back. They weren't THAT bad... They were just very inappropriate for this particular show. It was a band called The Peeping Toms, which sounded like a mix of Faith No More, Maroon 5, and Cypress Hill... I later discovered that this band is actually Mike Patton's new project (Patton is the lead singer from Faith No More). Anyone who knows any one of those bands might understand why the booker or promoter that put this bill together must have been on crack when he had this brilliant idea. I've never heard an opening band at a major show like this boo'd so much.

Three beers, a jumbo hot dog, and about 30 minutes later, The Peeping Toms were finally done. We eagerly returned to our seats to await the start of what promised to be an amazing show. Our promptness was rewarded when, after a relatively short change over, the lights went down, the crowd went crazy, and The Who took the stage.

They opened with one of their oldest hits, "I Can't Explain" (which happens to be playing on my iTunes right now, actually), then went right on into "The Seeker" followed by "Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere." They then threw out a few newer songs, the names of which I don't recall right now, unfortunately. But they didn't leave us hanging for too long... They cranked out a blistering "Who Are You" as well as grand "Baba O'Riley." So amazing.

Then in the middle of the show, they did a medly of 6 songs from their new mini-opera. It's a story about a band's humble beginnings, rise to fame, eventual decline, and, well, some other issues that they didn't really go into very much... Loosely based on the members of The Who, the 6-song journey was a refreshing breath of new material from the aging genius, (and one of my idols) Pete Townshend.

On a quick side note, Pete's brother Simon was playing rhythm guitar and singing backing vocals. I thought this was pretty cool of ol' Pete to allow his younger brother to chill out on stage with him :) Also filling out the band was drummer Zac Starkey, Ringo Star's son. Man, was this guy awesome. He's pretty laid back, all in all... But when he needs to bring it, consider it brought.


Anyhow, then it was right back into the great old hits, like "Won't Get Fooled Again," (see above picture) "Eminence Front," and the anthemic "My Generation." Thus ended the first set... And, per tradition, after a quick break, they came back on to do another short set. This time, Townshend and Daltry came out alone and did an acoustic version of a newer song (again, I don't recall the name). Then, with the whole band back on stage, Townshend played perhaps one of the most famous intros in the history of rock 'n' roll: the opening to Pinball Wizard. I freaked. They then proceeded to play several songs from their most famous rock opera, Tommy, including "Amazing Journey," "Sparks," and of course the finale "See Me, Feel Me" (see below pic). I was in musical heaven. I never got to see them play so many songs from Tommy the last time I saw them (although I did get to see Quadrophenia in its entirety, which was great).


To top off the evening, the rest of the band left the stage one last time and Pete and Roger did a surprisingly touching duet (again, no name in my brain) which basically painted a picture of two aging rock stars sitting down to have some tea and talking about all they've accomplished-- and all they've lost. I think most people had a pretty good feeling that there were allusions to the death of their original drummer Keith Moon and, more recently, the sudden passing of bassist John Entwistle. Fittingly, Daltry was actually clutching a cup of tea for the whole song, saluting the audience (and perhaps his late mates) periodically during the choruses. A great end to a great show.

-e

Have We Gone Too Far? ...Nahhh.

Most people realize by now that one of the most lucrative markets to be in is the iPod accessories market. As a result, some very interesting products have popped up over the last few years. But none, as far as I can tell, are quite as useless/hilarious as the iPanty.

That's right, folks. The iPanty. I came across this lovely little item while reading last week's Billboard Magazine. It's being sold on thesexysociety.com... Says the website:

So techie chic! Perfect for those of us who love to lounge around in sexy undies all day AND have our music! Black lace panty with pink ribbon and removable pocket to hold iPod nano, money or other small personal items. Comes giftboxed and ready to give -- or receive ;-)

Yipe. So basically, this is for all the Paris Hilton wannabes who don't actually have a party to go to... or a DUI to receive. Awesome. What's next? The iBoxers? "For the man who refuses to wear pants in the house... But still wants his Nano near his Neener!"

But hey... If the public's incessant need to have their iPod on them at all times means we get too see more of this nice lady here:

...Then I'm all for it!

----------------------------

In other news, the Super Mario Bros. theme song has been the #1 downloaded ringtone for NINETY-EIGHT WEEKS!!!

Jeez. I bet that guy is kicking himself for not securing himself some rights.

-e

Best Album Title of the Day

Best Album Title of the Day:

"Oy to the World: A Klezmer Christmas"


hehe.

-e

Humans + Aliens = ...Asians?

This is the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time... So Vyuz.com recently published a rather interesting article. Apparently, this kook named David Reynolds, who is a professor and web master at Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon, CA believes that Asians are a result of interbreeding between aboriginal Earthlings from half a million years ago and--get this-- aliens. Martians, to be exact:

According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.

Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim. The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.

“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.

Wait... So we not only decended from Martians, but Martian monks? Awesome! Let's continue...

Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.

Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.

“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”

Isn't that what those weird science guys did on Lost? Hmm...

Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.

Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.

Yes... cause people to not have a spiritual foundation. Right. Who gave this guy his degree??!

Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.

Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.

“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”

Methinks "Professor" Reynolds has been watching a little too much Star Trek. However, the idea that I could be the long lost cousin of some Martian kid is kind of cool, I guess...

...Wait a minute. What the fuck! This dude is crazy.

Your Martian half-blood,

-e

Best Album/Song Title of the Day

Artist: Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

Album: Black music for white people

Song: Ignant and Shit


...Awesome.


-e

RIP Crocodile Hunter!

Oh man... One of the world's most famous Aussies died! Steve Irwin, aka "The Crocodile Hunter," died while swimming around with a giant stingray off the coast of Cairns, Australia (the Great Barrier Reef, basically). Says Yahoo News:

Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.

"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.


Apparently, Irwin's death was partially just bad luck:

Stingrays have a serrated, toxin-loaded barb, or spine, on the top of their tail. The barb, which can be up to 10 inches long, flexes if a ray is frightened. Stings usually occur to people when they step on or swim too close to a ray and can be excruciatingly painful but are rarely fatal, said University of Queensland marine neuroscientist Shaun Collin.

Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced under his ribcage and directly into his heart.

"It was extraordinarily bad luck. It's not easy to get spined by a stingray and to be killed by one is very rare," Collin said.

Either way, I'm sure much of the world will miss that crazy Croc Hunter!

-e

Rain Rain (and Loud Neighbors) Go Away...

Rainy Saturdays are just lame. Rainy Sundays? Now that's okay. After all, Sundays are meant for lazing about inside, or perhaps a movie. But Saturday? That's a day that should be reserved for outdoor activity, seeing friends, and going out. Bleh.

Anyhow, this morning, I had the pleasure (or displeasure) of waking up not once, not twice, but THREE times. First at 6am, then 10am, then finally I rolled out of bed around 11:45am. Now, the thing that's interesting about this is the method by which I was woken up the first two times. That is, my neighbors. Who were having sex. Loudly.

The back of my apartment features a nice little "porch" or fire escape area, just big enough to have a few people sit outside and smoke cigars (or what have you). This general rear area of my apartment building is basically a long, narrow alleyway, made of brick and concrete. These conditions make it really, really easy to hear what's going on outside and, in this case, in the surrounding apartments (if their windows are open).

Apparently, my neighbors were feeling rather randy early this morning. Maybe the sunrise gave "rise" to something else? Who knows. Who cares. The fact is, it did, they did, and I was awake way too early.

Grumpily yours,

-e