hugeTHOUGHTS

I Heart NYC

2010-09-11T12:15:00.000-04:00

I Heart New York

2009-09-11T09:57:00.001-04:00

RIP MJ

2009-06-26T15:05:00.003-04:00

My late grandmother always thought I loved Michael Jackson's music. I think she got that impression because I used to listen to my cassette tape of Bad over and over again when I was a toddler. As I grew older, my grandmother would still make the same comments, except I'd brush off the idea as if to say "pshaw, I'm SO past my Michael Jackson phase..."

Now, a couple of decades later, I am a bigger fan of his music than I have ever been. "I Want You Back" never fails to put a big smile on my face, I still shiver a little bit when Vincent Price speaks at the end of "Thriller," "Billie Jean" still makes me want to go home and practice my moonwalk, and "Beat It" makes me want to go have a knife fight (kidding).

In all seriousness, it's truly unfortunate that he became the tabloid and urban legend fodder that he was prior to his death. Sure, he was odd. No one argues that he grew into a very strange, possibly crazy man-child. He may have even committed some pretty terrible crimes...

But he was also the King of Pop. He held that title in an era when it actually meant something, back when Kings reigned for more than the life of a few singles. He made music that changed my world, the world of music, and, as great music does, the world in general. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

Finally: New F Trains!

2009-03-26T20:42:00.002-04:00

About an hour ago, as I stood on the platform of the Herald Square subway station, waiting for the downtown F Train, I never would have thought my ride home would have been so pleasant as it turned out to be, especially in the light of the recent mammoth fare hikes. But then, as I saw the approaching lights of the train, everything changed...

At first, I thought, oh no... It's one of those weird out-of-service trains. But then I paused as I noticed the glowing red lights above the front window of the leading subway car... Perhaps it was an errant 2 train? 6 train, perhaps? Then, it came closer... and I saw it:

With a gasp and a full-toothed grin, I beamed at the approaching loveliness! At long last! The MTA gods have deemed the F line fit for new trains! Even as the sleek, new doors slid open and I was greeted with the pleasantly articulate female voice, which proclaimed that yes, indeed, this was 34th Street, Herald Square and that you could transfer to the N, Q, R, V, or W trains, I could hardly believe that my wildest public transit wish had come true.

The interior was so well lit, the ride was so smooth, and the automated voice cues were so easily understood that, for a few moments, I thought I must've somehow been magically transported onto a 6 train. While I was somewhat disappointed to find out that, no, magical transportation was still not a reality, I was overJOYED to discover that I was still sitting on a Brooklyn-bound F train, slinking stealthily and steadily towards my destination.

Ah... It almost made me forget the extra $20 I'm going to have to spend... every... month.... to ride this... majestic people mover...

...

Dammit!

-e

MP3s Are Destroying Music

2009-03-11T10:35:00.005-04:00

Sigh. It was bound to happen, I suppose...

A professor out at Stanford University named Johnathan Berger has been conducting an informal study every year for the past 6 years. The subject of this study? Students. The purpose of the study? To find out what quality of music they prefered. In a letter to Gizmodo, Professor Berger described the experiment:

Students were asked to judge the quality of a variety of compression methods randomly mixed with uncompressed 44.1 KHz audio. The music examples included both orchestral, jazz and rock music. When I first did this I was expecting to hear preferences for uncompressed audio and expecting to see MP3 (at 128, 160 and 192 bit rates) well below other methods (including a proprietary wavelet-based approach and AAC). To my surprise, in the rock examples the MP3 at 128 was preferred. I repeated the experiment over 6 years and found the preference for MP3 - particularly in music with high energy (cymbal crashes, brass hits, etc) rising over time.

Yep. You read right. Kids these days actually prefer the sounds of overcompressed mp3s to uncompressed CD-like audio. I mean, I'm all for compression... It certainly has its uses, a lot of which are good. But actually preferring the sizzle and crackle of digital overcompression to clear, uncompressed audio?? Ugh...

One thing's for sure... My kids are being raised FROM BIRTH (or beforehand, possibly) on uncompressed music. Hm... I better keep these old CDs around...

-e

A Sure Fire Way to Feel Better About Yourself

2009-02-05T16:57:00.005-05:00

There are those of us who have really unfortunate, awful things happen to them. Medical issues, family issues, job issues... Those things generally suck and it's very difficult to feel better after suffering through a real tragedy.

...Then there are most other people, who don't have some horrible event happen, but rather have to suffer embarrassment or shame due to some "little" incident. For those people, there are sites like www.fmylife.com.

Here, ordinary people like you and me can share and comiserate about some of the terrible (but not too terrible) things that have happened to us. Or, you can just laugh at all the poor shmucks who submitted their stories. ...But let's face it, we all have a "fuck my life" story to contribute, don't we? Here are a few choice selections:

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

and my favorite (because it's happened to me):

Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML

Are some of these made up? Who knows... Probably. But hey, if you can't suspend your disbelief long enough to have a good laugh at these mini-stories, well... I dunno. Lighten up, man!

-e

"OK" Vs. "Awk"

2009-02-02T18:00:00.002-05:00

Whenever people write “ok” I always imagine it being pronounced phonetically, instead of “oh kay.” So it's always funny to me when people write it multiple times (e.g. "ok ok ok") because I just imagine them saying "awk awk awk."

Try imagining it the next time someone chats or e-mails you "ok ok ok."

I bet you'll laugh.

-e

Subway Etiquette - Stair Stopper

2009-01-27T10:10:00.003-05:00

Dear people of NYC (Or anyone planning on visiting NYC and using the subway),

DO NOT STOP* on, around, near, at the top of, or at the bottom of the stairs in the subway! People are trying to get the train and it's really quite annoying when you miss a train by that much because some chump decided that the last stair step would be a good place to stop and check your iPod... It's also frustrates me to no end when I'm trying to get OUT of the subway station and can't because someone can't figure out which way is east and decided that the very top of the narrow-ass stairway was a GREAT place to stop and look around, despite the 15 people tromping up the stairs behind him/me.

*Unless you are injured or disabled in some manner, in which case you may stop. I may be angry, but I'm not heartless...

Thank you.

-e

Asians In the (Inaugural) Spotlight

2009-01-26T11:28:00.008-05:00

I just wanted to geek out a little bit about how a few Asians played pretty integral roles (both direct and indirect) in the inauguration ceremonies last week:

Yo-Yo Ma
Yeah, maybe his cello performance was “lip-synced”. But let’s face it, he’s no Milli. Or even Vanilli. There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that this guy can pull off a soul-shaking, life-altering performance. In fact, he can probably do so with less effort than you or I use to scratch our butt. The important thing is, he was up there, smiling, having the time of his life, doing what he was put on this earth to do: play the $*%@#! out of the cello... And he was doing it for an incredible ocassion.

Jason Wu
This 26-year old designer apparently had no idea his dress was even picked by the First Lady until he saw it on TV. According to Wu, the only protocol for the dress was that "it had to sparkle." And sparkle it did! The man's was already gaining quite a bit of noteriety in the fashion business. Says the Times: "His dolls ($70 to $400) are sold at F. A. O. Schwarz. His evening dresses ($2,990 to $4,700) are sold at Bergdorf Goodman... Mr. Wu mentions that his collection is expected to have sales of $4 million this year." Awesome.

Luke Song
This guy designed the infamous hat that Aretha Franklin wore during her performance of “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.” Apparently the first lady of soul has been a customer of his family’s store for about 20 years. Oh yeah, and the hat store is called Mr. Song Millinery. I had no idea the word "millinery" even existed until now. Yay for Asians and new vocabulary!

Konrad Ng
Admittedly, Konrad didn’t “do” anything at the inauguration. But as the First Brother-In-Law, he was sitting up there, as part of the first family. How awesome is that?? The NY Times even did an article about the multi-cultural nature of the First Family.

Props to mah peoples.

-e

Gripefoot

2009-01-23T10:20:00.003-05:00

Grapefruit:

Really healthy for you... But impossible to eat at work with a plastic spoon.

xkcd has a funny look on grapefruits (though with a little sugar, they are quite tasty).

-e

The LOST Conversations

2009-01-21T07:27:00.022-05:00

As many of you are probably aware, the season premiere of LOST is tonight! As usual, I'm sure it will be filled with suspense, intrigue, and horn flares. Watching LOST is similar to what I imagine having a baby must be like: you sweat a lot, grit your teeth, and might even poop yourself... But in the end, it's all worth it because you have this little bundle of joy.

...Okay, fine, having a baby is nothing like watching LOST. Except for maybe the pooping part. But I did have a weird dream last night concerning what it would be like to have a conversation with John Locke and couldn't think of a better way segue, so sorry about that. Anyhow, I imagined that conversation would go something like this:

Eugene: Hi there.
Locke: Hello, Eugene.
Eugene: Whoa... How'd you know my name?
Locke: The Island told me.
Eugene: The Island? You mean that terrible movie with Scarlett Johansson?
Locke: I'm afraid I haven't seen that movie.
Eugene: You're probably better off. So who's this Jacob fellow?
Locke: You know who Jacob is?
Eugene: I guess... I just kind of heard his voice in my head.
Locke: Say, Eugene, would you mind stepping a little over towards that pit of dead bodies?
Eugene: Yes, I would. I'm leaving, you creepy old bastard.

Then I thought, what would it be like to talk to some of the other survivors of Oceanic Flight 815? Hmm...

Eugene: Hey, Jack.
Jack: Hi. Who are you?
Eugene: Oh, whew, I thought for a second that all of you guys would be as creepy as John Locke.
Jack: Yeah, John's a lunatic. Who are you?
Eugene: Oh right. I'm Eugene.
Jack: Nice to meet you, I'm Jack.
Eugene: So what was it like being stuck on that island?
Jack: Well, I was working these two chicks for about 100 days but never got lucky. I even had to watch one of them have wild animal sex in a cage with another guy.
Eugene: Yikes. That's roug-- wait, you "had" to?
Jack: Yeah, it was rough...
Eugene: Hm. So, is that why you're wasted at 2 in the afternoon?
Jack: Don't you judge me!! You're just like my father! [starts sobbing]
Eugene: What?
Jack: [Still sobbing] I wanna go back!! I wanna go back to the island!!
Eugene: Man, you really do need to get laid.
Jack: Well... I gave CPR to an old lady dying of cancer, a former addict/hobbit, and a crazy Scottish dude. Does that count?
Eugene: Wha--? No. No, that's just really sketchy.
Jack: I'm sorry. It's been a long 100 days.
Eugene: Sure it has. I'm leaving now.

Eugene: Helloooo, nurse!
Kate: It’s Kate. Who are you?
Eugene: Eugene.
Kate: Stay away from my son.
Eugene: Who? Wha… Oh, that kid over there? But he doesn’t look like you at a—
Kate: STAY AWAY FROM MY SON!
Eugene: Ha! You’re sexy when you’re crazy. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Kate: That joke isn’t supposed to be directed at a girl. And yes, it is a gun.
Eugene: Right. Have fun with your “son.” I’m leaving. ….Psycho hose beast.

Black Smoke Monster: [incoherent whisper]
Eugene: Holy shit! Please don’t kill me!
Black Smoke Monster: [incoherent whisper]
Eugene: What are you?? What do you want??
Black Smoke Monster: [incoherent whisper]
Eugene: Fuck this shit! I’m out of here! [runs away]
Black Smoke Monster: … Aw, c’mon! I was just fucking with you!
Jack’s Dead Father: See? What did I tell you? If you keep killing people, you’ll never have any friends.
Black Smoke Monster: JESUS! Where the fuck did you come from?? You have to stop appearing out of nowhere. That shit is annoying as fuck.
Jack's Dead Father: Ha! You should've seen the look on your cloud-face.
Black Smoke Monster: Yeah? You should've seen the how about you SHUT YOUR FACE?? Drunk asshole.
Jack’s Dead Father: I’m sober!
Black Smoke Monster: That’s just because you haven’t found any booze on the island yet.
Jack’s Dead Father: … Isn’t there some rum buried around here somewhere?
Black Smoke Monster: You saw that in Pirates of the Caribbean, dumbass.
Jack’s Dead Father: Shit. Fuck this place, I’m leaving.

Eugene: Hey, Sawyer
Sawyer: Yo, Skinny McGee.
Eugene: Skinny McWhat?
Sawyer: Sorry. I gave all the good nicknames to everyone else on the island.
Eugene: Well, I suppose it could be worse. What are you up to?
Sawyer: I was just sittin’ here reading and drinking really old beer. ‘Til you came along.
Eugene: Yeah, good thing I did! Books are boring. You seem pretty relaxed.
Sawyer: Why wouldn’t I be? I’m on an island paradise, I finally killed the guy who killed my mom, I got all the fish and coconut I could possibly eat… Hey, I even did it with a hot chick in a cage!
Eugene: Yeah, I heard. Man, I feel bad for Jack…
Sawyer: What’d you say?
Eugene: Nothing. Can I have a beer?
Sawyer: Sorry, last one. You'll have to go get more from Ben’s father.
Eugene: Ben's father? You mean the dead guy in the van? I’ll pass. Enjoy your dead person beer. I’m leaving.

Hm... On second thought, maybe I don't want to talk to any of those people. I guess being stranded on a crazy, sort of living island is enough to drive anyone nuts.

-e

Amen.

2009-01-20T16:50:00.001-05:00

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right. That all those who do justice and love mercy say, Amen. --Rev. Joseph Lowery

New Term: "Hangry"

2009-01-16T13:24:00.004-05:00

I coined a new term today:

Hangry (adj.)
1. having a desire, craving, or need for food that is so intense that said need turns a normally affable person into a grouchy, irritable, and/or surly beast.

2. indicating, characteristic of, or characterized by hunger mixed with anger: When told the wait time for a table would be 45 minutes, the restaurant patron gave the hostess a hangry stare.

3. strongly or eagerly desirous... and angry.

4. marked by a scarcity of food... and anger.

5. Informal. aggressively ambitious or competitive... and angry, as from a need to overcome poverty or past defeats: a hangry new investment firm looking to destroy older, more established companies.

We all know one (or more) people that get hangry when they haven't eaten in a while. I know several, myself. Now that we've successfully labeled these individuals and their behavior, we should discuss protective measures. The best way to protect oneself against the wrath of hangry people is to keep snacks on your person at all times (i.e. peanut M&Ms, peanut butter crackers, etc.). These items will help you combat most hangry people.

But if you ever find yourself without the aforementioned weapons, the best thing to do is either:

a) Point off to the distance, scream "Look, Arby's!", then run.
b) Offer up a limb to quell the hangry beast.
c) Curl up into fetal position and rock back and forth.
d) Cry like a little child.

Or

e) All of the above.

Good luck.

-e

How My iPhone Has Changed My Life

2009-01-14T15:31:00.009-05:00

A lot of fuss was raised about 6 months ago when the mystical iPhone 3G came out. I was definitely one of the people raising said fuss. I was also one of the people (or “chumps,” depending on who you ask) who waited in line for some ridiculous amount of time (6-7 hours) after getting up at some ungodly hour in the morning (4:30am) the day after the phone came out.

Yes, of course, there was a lot of oo-ing and ah-ing when I first got it. I was enamored with its sleek curves, smart and capable operating system, and all-in-one-ness… I loved it. I loved my iPhone. I’m not afraid to admit it. I accepted my fate as an Apple Slut a long time ago.

Of course, there were plenty of people who didn’t understand and/or poo-pooed the whole spectacle. There were all kinds of debate over the merits/disadvantages of the touchscreen keyboard, the AT&T network, the contracts, etc etc.

6 months later, I still have my iPhone. And, yes, I still love it. But I thought it’d be interesting to report on if/how the iPhone has changed my life… for better or worse. Mind you, I realize there are other devices out there that could do some of these things and a lot of them existed before the iPhone. …But I didn’t have any of them :p I used to have the old school 6 GB iPod mini, an LG V6somethingorother, and a Palm TX.

So, with that, here we go:

iPhone Pros (yay!):

1) I don’t have to carry around an iPod, a cell phone and a Palm Pilot anymore.
2) I’m never bored on the subway. Or anywhere, really.
3) I can finally seamlessly sync my phone with my Mac.
4) I can carry around a lot more music.
5) I never get lost.
6) I have a digital notepad for lyric ideas, shopping lists, etc…
7) Keeping in touch (which I’m kind of obsessed with) is easier than ever.
8) I can use the song recognition applications to figure out the names/artists of songs that I hear when I’m out and about (not being able to do so is a HUGE pet peeve of mine).
9) I can reference and check e-mail wherever I get a cell or wi-fi signal.
10) I have a user-friendly, good looking and highly functional datebook.
11) My family’s now on a family plan, so it’s cheaper for everyone.
12) All my photos are easily accessible.
13) I can finally feel the phone vibrate in my pocket… and/or hear the ring in my earphones.

iPhone Cons (boo...):

1) The first time I’d thought I lost it, I FREAKED. THE EFF. OUT.
2) I sometimes worry about walking around with a highly desirable, pretty expensive, easily steal-able gadget in plain view.
3) I can’t talk on the iPhone in my house OR my office, since AT&T gets zero to one bars of signal in those places. I have since been forced to get a landline (gasp!) in my house. So much for those savings on my cell phone bill…
4) The 3G network in NYC kind of sucks. I suppose this hasn’t really changed things for me, other than the fact that when people ask me about the service, I always have to add in that caveat.
5) The first couple of times I dropped it, I FREAKED. THE EFF. OUT.
6) Despite the amazing error correction software, typing on the touchscreen keyboard is really difficult in a moving car. Or when drunk. Or when drunk in a moving car.
7) I can’t type without looking anymore.
8) I used to be one of “those guys.” (Though that’s changed since the phone has become so damn popular)
9) I’m already wondering how jealous I’m going to be of the owners of the next generation iPhone…

So, although the pros and cons are pretty evenly matched in terms of numbers, I think the value of the advantages far outweighs that of the disadvantages. I still love my iPhone and, as far as I can tell, it still loves me.

-e

Urinal "Cakes"?

2008-11-20T13:12:00.005-05:00

Why do people insist on associating urinals with edible sweets like cakes and mints? Honestly, it's gross. The last thing I want to think about when I hear the word "urinal" is "mmm. cake." or "mmm. mints." or even "mmm. Jujubes."

Why can't we, instead, refer to those awful smelling, but necessary things as something more innocuous and, preferably, inedible? Like how about "urinal puck"? or "urinal refresher"?

"Pee-b-gone"?

Whatever works.

-e

Election Analogy #1

2008-10-10T10:41:00.002-04:00

Here's my take on the election analogy pictures that have been going around lately:

Spike's Junkyard Dogs -- Original Thayer St. Location to Close

2008-09-16T10:22:00.004-04:00

September 28th is going to be a sad, sad day in Providence, RI... It is the day that the original Thayer St. Providence, RI location of Spike's Junkyard Dogs is closing its doors.

No longer will local college students be able to stumble along its chain-link fence partitions after a long night of beruit and flip cup, barely glancing at the menu (because they already know what they want... oh yes, they know...) before ordering a Big Dave's Deluxe, Texas Ranger, and/or a Chilli and Cheddar, then jockying for a space at one of the few booths or stools.

Spike's hot dogs are no ordinary hot dogs... The franks are big, fat, and 100% beef. Now, granted, hot dog franks are generally not terribly healthy for you. But as far as hot dogs go, Spike's is top notch. Their buns weren't your run-of-the-mill, thin, wimpy, buy-em-at-the-supermarket hot dog buns either. They were big, fresh-baked, and delicious.

If you've never had a Spike's dog before, allow me to assist you in comprehending the scope and majesty of the greatness that is Spike's. Imagine the best hot dog you've ever had. Except make it delicious. Then a little more delicious. At that point, your imaginary hot dog is about as tasty as a Spike's dog that's been dropped on the ground and pooped on. That's right. Your hot dog sucks compared to Spike's.

And don't give me this Crif Dog shit either... Eating a Crif Dog is like taking your pet pig (or pitbull) to the prom. You can dress it up any way you'd like, but when it comes down to it, you're still slow dancing with a pig. Eating a Spike's Junkyard Dog is like taking five supermodels to the prom who also happen to be Rhodes Scholars, have worked three years with Peace Corps, Americorps, AND the Marine Corps, and are totally freaky in the bedroom.

The one silver lining in all this is that the other 9 locations are going to remain open... For now. But they can't survive without your support! Go find your nearest Spike's and start eating hot dogs today!! (They even have vegetarian dogs for you non-meat-eaters!)

...

2008-09-11T10:03:00.002-04:00

Something's Not Quite Right Here...

2008-09-08T14:19:00.005-04:00

Apparently, some nutjob broke into the home of 2 Fresno, CA farmworkers yesterday and stole some money.

Why is this so strange? After all, home invasion and theft isn't that uncommon. Ah yes, but 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez is no ordinary burglar. This guy took it upon himself to rub spices on one of the residents and then wacked the other one with an 8-inch sausage before he ran off.

...Yeah, take that one in for a second...

So, not only did this guy break into a house, rub spices on one of the sleeping inhabitants and slap the other guy with an 8-inch long kilbasa, but this dumbass left his wallet in the house! Why? Who knows... probably because he left his pants there as well?? He was found hiding in a nearby field wearing only a t-shirt, boxers and socks.

?!?!

The only one who lucked out is the dog who found the giant piece of sausage after Vazquez chucked it while fleeing the scene.

hahahaha...

-e

English for McCain

2008-08-29T10:30:00.006-04:00

I was forwarded this link to the McCain store today. If you click "larger photo," you'll get the following picture:

Who needs grammar anyway?

-e

New Dragonball Movie: Shaping Up to be LAME

2008-07-30T17:03:00.005-04:00

I love Dragonball. I remember reading this comic as a little kid, from tiny little books that were all in Korean. I could barely understand the writing, but I still loved every frame.

Then Dragonball came to American TV. Awesome. A little boring, given the fact that each episode had at least 10 minutes of closeups of various heros/villans grunting and struggling, as if they were trying to have a massive bowel movement. But still, I was a fan.

Then I hear about a new live-action Dragonball movie that's coming out. Aweso-- OH WAIT. Not so awesome. Guess who they decided to cast as the lead character, Goku, in this Japanese manga series, based on a Chinese folk novel, that was popularized all over Asia before coming to the US? Oh of course, they cast some guy named Justin Chatwin. Of course.

Disgrasian posted a great "alternative" movie poster for this film:

This movie is going to suck.

-e

Oh Hayden... You've broken my heart...

2008-07-16T15:28:00.003-04:00

Okay. I will readily admit that I am a fan of the show Heroes. Not just because I know Masi Oka (who is a pretty great guy), but also because Hayden Panettiere is on the show.

However, Ms. Panacotta has just broken my heart. How? She put out a music video. And it blows. Some of you may recall my post about Scarlett Johamanason's awful song/video. Well, here we have another example of some girl who is a pretty good actor making a HUGE mistake by putting out a terrible, terrible song. Below is a leaked video for "Wake Up Call." Think "Red Red Wine" meets Hillary Duff meets a whole lot of suck:

NOT ONLY does the song suck, but the content of the lyrics is just atrocious:

I think I'm gonna have to cheat, to finally get your eyes on me? Gonna have to make you jealous...

WTF? Really?? This is the kind of horseshit that girls are supposed to do when their man isn't paying attention to them? Not ONLY should Hayden stick to acting, but for pete's sake, at least put out a song that doesn't encourage girls to play retarded games.

Oh, and also don't put out a song that is awful. Yeah.

-e

Green Energy: It's Coming!

2008-06-25T14:02:00.011-04:00

Most of my friends know that I'm a bit of a cynic when it comes the general public's adoption of clean, renewable sources of energy. I just don't think enough people care enough. Or, at least, I used to think that...

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of reports on really cool things people are doing to promote and use alternative sources of energy. It was enough to make me think that maybe, just maybe, we will turn this thing around. A few of the coolest innovations I've seen recently include:

The Sakai City Waterfront Mega Solar Power Generation Plan - Long name, cool project. Sharp and Kansai Electric Power's giant solar energy plant will generate a ton of clean power and reduce CO2 emissions by several bajillion kilotons. Okay, the real numbers can be found in the Sharp press release.

Orange's Green Cell Phone Charging Stations - UK cell phone provider Orange will be setting up these nifty tents at the Glastonbury Festival. Basically, they use wind and solar power to charge people's cell phones. One tent can charge about 100 cell phones per hour. Yay technology! Now I just need one for my house...

The Microfueler - "The EFuel100 MicroFueler™ is the world's first portable ethanol micro-refinery system." In other words, sugar and/or discarded booze goes in, wait about 5-7 days, and useable ethanol comes out. Sure it costs about $10,000 and it won't be available until late 2008. But look at it this way: now you have something to do with all the Larrys people leave at your parties...

Honda's FCX Clarity - The first production car to be powered by hydrogen fuel cells. That's right, we're talking ZERO emissions. Not less, not some... ZERO. 'Nuff said. If you live in Southern California, go get one.

So maybe we will be able to save the planet. Now if we only had some sort of machine that could suck up all that excess greenhouse carbon-dioxide in the atmosphere and turn it into something useful... Like food. Or oxygen... Hmmm...

I Want I Want I Want I Want I Want I Want...

2008-06-09T16:14:00.007-04:00

...the new iPhone! I've been waiting to get one of these things for probably 3 years now, ever since the first rumors started surfacing that Apple was developing a phone. I somehow managed to resist buying iPhone v.1... But yeah... I can't wait any longer. I must have it.

The most impressive new functionalities the iThang will feature are 3G and GPS capabilities. Apple also boasts that there will be much improved audio (what that means exactly is yet to be discovered) and great battery life. Otherwise, there are a few cosmetic modifications that just add to the cool factor such as thinner edges, a headphone jack that's flush with the outside edge, a glossy black plastic backing, and solid metal buttons. Though, the new headphone jack has some practical function as well, as it will allow people to use any headphones they want without the annoying adaptors.

AND, they've lowered the price. The 8 GB model will be available for $199 and the 16 GB model will be $299. Hot. And cheap. Hot, cheap buns. I mean, phones.

There are a few catches though. For one, there is no increase in memory, which people were hoping for. However, the most crappy thing is that all us Apple fanboys and fangirls, will have to continue to mop up our saliva until July 11th, when they will finally roll out this beautiful piece of technology. Check out these shots from the Gizmodo coverage of the WWDC:

Will there be pre-orders? I don't know. And I don't care. All I know is, I must have one. I will have one.

-e

Ooooh-BLAMA.

2008-06-04T10:04:00.003-04:00

Holla!

-e

Repent... Or Else!

2008-06-02T10:20:00.004-04:00

You best get your ass to church or else Mike Crain is going to come karate chop your FACE!!

You heard it here first.

-e

In Case You Were Wondering Which Bus This Is...

2008-06-01T18:00:00.004-04:00

I took this shot about a year ago when I was up at Belleayre Mountain. Apparently the driver wanted to make it ABSOLUTELY clear which bus this was.

-e

Chest Bumps: Definitely Not Presidential Behavior

2008-05-29T14:25:00.006-04:00

I mean, let's be honest. At this point, there are few things that Ol' Dubya could do to surprise or disappoint us more. If I saw a picture of President Bush getting a lapdance from a transvestite stripper in a seedy club in Bangkok, honesty, I'd probably just flip over to the Lakers article.

...That being said, here's a little something to make you shake your head (probably not for the last time, mind you). Below is a picture of W chest bumping a new Air Force Academy graduate at the USAF graduation ceremony yesterday in Colorado Springs, CO.

Yep. You can take the boy out of the frathouse. But you can't take the frat out of the boyhouse. I mean, White House. ...I mean. Wait... dammit.

Whatever, Bush is an idiot.

-e

No, Sue... What The Fuck Are YOU Doing?

2008-05-13T11:20:00.006-04:00

Last night on the NBC Nightly News in New York, longtime anchor woman Sue Simmons apparently didn't realize her mic was still on right before they cut to commercial...

[Sorry, looks like NBC has gone around and made everyone take down the clip... But basically, Sue Simmons screamed "What the FUCK are you doing?!" while her mic was on during a live broadcast. It was hilarious.]

Just goes to show... Make sure your mic is off before cursing someone out.

Words to live by.

-e

Do You Suppose She Saw This Coming?

2008-05-12T11:52:00.002-04:00

I took this picture on the way to work this morning:

One has to wonder if the owner of that sign saw this coming...

-e

Scarlett: Stick to Acting, Please.

2008-05-03T15:40:00.005-04:00

Most of us know of Scarlett Johansson as that cute, blonde, big bossomed actor in those movies. If anyone was curious to know if she should stick with that or perhaps branch out into some tangentially related, yet practically speaking completely different career, here is proof positive that she SHOULD NOT. I give you, the first video from Scarlett's new album featuring the short blonde one (yes, she's tiny, people) singing a horrible cover of Tom Wait's "Falling Down":

I mean, I had heard some people talking about how bad she was at singing and read a review here and there about it. But man. This really REALLY blows. It's proof, once again, that just because you can act, doesn't mean you can sing. Or vice versa for that matter. It's like the late, great comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, after describing how people ask him to do acting gigs just because they've seen him on stage at a comedy club:

"That's like working really hard your whole life to be a chef and after you finally achieve it, somebody comes and says, 'Great -- can you farm?'"

Maybe Scarlett should try farming...

-e

Beam Me Up, Stevie...

2008-03-26T18:04:00.004-04:00

In case anyone wasn't aware just how big of a dork I am, allow me to geek out for a second about Star Trek...

Ever notice how when people "video chatted" in Star Trek, there was never any visible video camera? People actually could look straight into the monitor and have the person on the other side look straight at them.

Instead of how video chats go now, where each person is looking at his/her screen but the video camera is mounted on the top of their monitor, so it looks like the person on the screen is looking intently at your belly button?

Well... It looks like our friends at Apple have been working on a solution for that for quite some time now, according to a recent article on Apple Insider.

...it may be of some interest to recall an earlier patent filing from Apple for an 'integrated sensing display' capable of serving as both a display screen and a digital camera.

The filing, which predates the iPhone's release by nearly three years, describes a new breed of LCD display that could simultaneously take photos while continuing its role as the primary display screen of an electronics device or computer monitor.

So cool!! How would they accomplish such a feat, you ask? Well...

The idea behind the invention is to wedge thousands of microscopic image sensors between the LCD cells that make up the display, where each sensor would be responsible for capturing a piece of the overall photo. Those pieces would then be stitched together by software to recreate the complete image capture.

The rumor site implied that this new innovation might be implemented on the new 3G iPhones that everyone is waiting for later this year. But, personally, I think Apple would more likely apply this technology to their laptop line first.

I suppose time will tell...

-e

Still Fighting the Uphill Battle

2008-03-25T08:49:00.003-04:00

I read an interesting article about Sessue Hayakawa, who was a huge Hollywood star back about 90 years ago. That's right, a Japanese dude was more famous (and playing less stereotyped roles) in Hollywood in 1920 than the grand majority of Asian actors today. But the thing that kind of got me down was the survey of roles Asian people are playing today, as well as the treatment we still get in the media:

In most Hollywood movies, Asian men are invisible. And those are the better Hollywood movies.

Crude comedies feature men with impenetrable accents. Action films feature stoic heroes, who rarely get a kiss. Stereotypes of bespectacled grinds abound. Japanese characters are particularly forgettable, even though their country's own films are often crammed with kinky sex and violence.

"The Japanese businessman, bowing to everyone in 'Lost in Translation,'" says Ryo Nagasawa, the film program officer at the Japan Society. "I don't think the Hollywood image goes beyond that."

...

Of course Hollywood films stereotype everyone -- whether it's evil executives or absurdly effeminate gay men. Yet Asian males often come in for rougher treatment -- with crude jokes about dog-eating, or Pidgin English -- than other, long-denigrated minorities.

You can see it even in a current movie like "Be Kind Rewind." A goofy parody of bare-bones filmmaking, it features Jack Black mimicking stars like Jessica Tandy. When he finally goes too far -- smearing on dark makeup to portray Fats Waller -- he's rightly greeted with horror, and taken aside for a stern talking-to.

Yet when he tapes back his eyes to mimic Jackie Chan, the racial buffoonery passes without notice.

Sighhh....

-e

In Case Anyone Was Still Wondering...

2008-03-05T23:00:00.006-05:00

...George W. Bush is just an embarrassment in almost every way.

Yoshi Tsurumi was one of George W. Bush's professors at Harvard Business School. In an article on Salon.com, Mary Jacoby talks about Tsurumi's experiences teaching our current Presidunce, Mr. Bush. In it, Tsurumi states:

"I don't remember all the students in detail unless I'm prompted by something... But I always remember two types of students. One is the very excellent student, the type as a professor you feel honored to be working with. Someone with strong social values, compassion and intellect -- the very rare person you never forget.

Heh. We know where this is going...

"...And then you remember students like George Bush, those who are totally the opposite."

Yeah... Pretty much. It gets much better. Want more? Check out the article here.

-e

George F. Will on Experience

2008-02-22T11:32:00.002-05:00

Washington Post columnist George F. Will had this to say regarding "experience" in yesterday's Post:

Nothing, however, will assuage Clinton supporters' sense of injustice if the upstart Obama supplants her. Their, and her, sense of entitlement is encapsulated in her constant invocations of her "35 years" of "experience." Well.

She is 60. She left Yale Law School at age 25. Evidently she considers everything she has done since school, from her years at Little Rock's Rose Law Firm to her good fortune with cattle futures, as presidentially relevant experience.

The president who came to office with the most glittering array of experiences had served 10 years in the House of Representatives, then became minister to Russia, then served 10 years in the Senate, then four years as secretary of state (during a war that enlarged the nation by 33 percent), then was minister to Britain. Then, in 1856, James Buchanan was elected president and in just one term secured a strong claim to being ranked as America's worst president. Abraham Lincoln, the inexperienced former one-term congressman, had an easy act to follow.

Awesome.

-e

You Like-a The Vergina?

2008-02-20T11:44:00.005-05:00

I recently discovered this beer during a trip to Chicago:

No, this isn't a joke. And yes, it's a beer called "Vergina." I found it at this Greek restaurant. It was the only Greek beer they had on the menu, so my friends and I figured, why not? It wasn't a bad beer either. But the waiter kept coming over and asking us, in a mildly creepy, dead-pan tone, "So... You guys like-a the Vergina? Eh?" To which, we hesitantly replied, "Y...Yes. Yes we do."

The best part is that, according to their website, they also have a variation of the beer called "Vergina Red." I'll let you mull that one over on your own...

Vergina is apparently also a small northern town in Greece. Who knew?

-e

"The Dumbing of America"

2008-02-18T10:02:00.007-05:00

Recently, Susan Jacoby wrote an amazing (and frightening) opinion piece for the Washington Post called "The Dumbing of America." In it, she discusses how, as a nation, we've become, well, stupider.

She first recounts one of Franklin D. Roosevelt's radio addresses (or "fireside chats") during which he took the time to explain to the American people why our troops were doing so poorly in the Pacific. One of the main difficulties stemmed from the long distances over which the supplies had to travel in order to reach the front lines. So FDR actually asked people to take out a map (!) so that they could really understand just how far the supplies had to go. He reasoned that if people actually comprehended the situation, they'd be much more understanding of it. Not a bad thought. Oh, and not only did 80 percent of Americans tuned in to hear the president, but maps sold out in stores across the country.

Jacoby makes the point that we live in a very different time with very different attitudes towards learning and knowledge. She then goes on to cite some very frightening statistics:

According to a 2006 survey by National Geographic-Roper, nearly half of Americans between ages 18 and 24 do not think it necessary to know the location of other countries in which important news is being made. More than a third consider it "not at all important" to know a foreign language, and only 14 percent consider it "very important."

Are you freaking kidding me?! Look, it's one thing if your Middle Eastern/African/Asian geography is a little foggy. I'll readily admit mine is. But to think that it's not necessary to know? And furthermore, to think that knowledge of a foreign language isn't important at all? Wow. Just... Wow.

That part of her article actually reminded me of an old gripe I had. In the midst of all the turmoil surrounding 9/11, many musicians wrote and released songs with inspirational themes. However, one song called "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)" by Alan Jackson always rubbed me the wrong way. Yes, most of it was about being close with your family and loved ones during such a horrible time. But the first few lines of the chorus always made me scratch my head a little:

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Now, I realize that these lyrics don't necessary actively condone ignorance and stupidity. From what I can tell, he's saying that so long as you have faith, hope and love, you're all good... Even if you're an idiot and don't know any world geography. I can just imagine millions of Americans thinking, "Gee, that Alan Jackson is right... I don't know what them A-rabs are all about, but as long as I got faith and hope and love, everything is okay!" This song, while mostly about treasuring time with loved ones and honoring those that had died, is tinged (tainted, even) with xenophobia and ignorance. In a situation like that, you can have all the faith, love and hope in the world, but it isn't going to do shit to change anything if you're a dumbass... Not for the better, anyway. People like Alan Jackson are the same kind of people that, if we ever got into a war with North Korea, would be saying, "North Korea? South Korea? China? Japan? Whatever! Fuck 'em all! They all look the same and speak that ching-chong stuff!" Bah. But I digress...

Anyway, Jocoby then describes another factor behind what she calls "the new American dumbness." That is, the fact that not only do Americans not know shit about anything, but we think that it's totally fine that we don't know shit about anything. Think she's exaggerating?

...consider the one in five American adults who, according to the National Science Foundation, thinks the sun revolves around the Earth.

Yeah. We're fucking dumb.

Lastly, she notes that there is no quick fix for this kind of "arrogant anti-rationalism and anti-intellectualism," and that training students to give "specific answers to specific questions of specific tests" just isn't the answer. She's absolutely right. Standardized tests are useful for some things. But when it comes to actually educating children, they really don't do shit... And neither, by the way, does training for them. I've seen first-hand how insistence on applying the same standard to all students discriminates against those that are below the curve because they are spending too much time trying to pass some fucking test instead of learning subjects and skills they really need. And those that are above the curve, well, most of them just don't need to try all that hard to pass, so they do what they need to do to get by and don't bother pushing themselves any harder.

It's a difficult situation, educating all the young'uns. Individualization of educational plans is probably the way to maximize the amount of benefit American children can derive from school. Of course, this puts an immense burden on the school systems and the teachers. But with the help of technology, these things are actually possible. I recently met a guy named Michael Horn who's writing a book called "Disrupting Class: How Disruptive Innovation Will Change the Way the World Learns." As you can guess, it's about how disruptive innovation can be applied to education. I'm trying to figure out the name of the book because it just got released recently. But I think with the aid of online courses and further integration of computers/technology in classrooms and lesson plans, it will eventually be possible to tailor educational plans to each student so that perhaps the next generation of Americans, at least, will be able to tell the difference between Iraq and Iran.

...Or whatever countries we happen to be angry at.

-e

Evermore: Never Let You Go

2008-02-13T17:02:00.003-05:00

I don't see very many music videos these days. And those that I see are generally pretty lame or totally devoid of original creative thought.

This one, however, is fun, creative, funny, weird, and surprisingly moving. Check it out.

The use of babies towards the end is probably my favorite part.

...And the shot of the cute little fox (or whatever furry little animal that is).

-e

Crazy Subway Person #3: Stair Stopper

2008-02-12T14:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, this CSP doesn't reference a specific encounter I've had in the subway, but rather several separate experiences I've had with the same phenomenon. That is, people who stop on the stairs in subway stations to look around, check their watch, make a phone call, etc etc.

For instance, when I was coming out of the 14th Street subway station the other day, in a rush to get to work, the lady I was following reached the top of the stairs at the exit and simply stopped moving. Would it have killed her to stop, oh I dunno, TWO STEPS further away from the stairs to allow me, and the horde of rush-hour workers behind me, to get by?

So, if you're going up or down a set of subway stairs, PLEASE do not stop until you have cleared the landing by at least a few steps to let the people behind you get by!!

Bah!!

-e

Please Make: Taller Water Coolers

2008-01-30T13:12:00.001-05:00

Could someone out there PLEASE make a water cooler where the spout isn't by your freakin' knees?! I understand that if you simply made a traditional water cooler taller, it'd be much harder to put the water jugs on top of it.

But it really woudn't be that difficult to use the water pressure from those giant water jugs to force the water up a tube and into a cooling reservoir that's around chest height, thereby eliminating the need to make the actual contraption any taller.

Thank you.

-e

Ghostface Isn't Pleased

2008-01-28T12:09:00.000-05:00

Sales of Ghostface Killah's new album, Big Doe Rehab, apparently haven't been doing so well. In fact, they were so disappointing that Mr. Killah decided to address his fans in a video message. In it, he basically scolds the people who downloaded pirated copies of the album, saying at one point: "I thought y'all motherfuckers loved me, man."

I thought so too, Mr. Killah. I thought so too.

-e

Worse Korean Restaurant Name Ever

2008-01-21T20:39:00.002-05:00

Now, I'm all for the spread of Korean culture into mainstream American society. Especially when it comes to Korean food. I love Korean food like a fat kid loves, well, Korean food. And I love it that K-town in New York is slowly expanding outward past the boundaries of West 32nd between 5th and Broadway.

HOWever... I'm just dumbfounded as to how this particular restaurant actually came into being. That is, the new Korean-themed Chop Suey that has just opened up in Times Square on the second floor of the Renaissance Hotel by Mr. Zak Pelaccio. CHOP SUEY?! You've got to be fucking kidding me. These retards couldn't think of a better name than that?? What the fuck does chop suey have to do with Korean food? That shit is CHINESE, dumbasses. But, then again, I suppose if we all look the same, our foods and cultures are probably the same too, huh? Assholes.

And just for reference, Wikipedia descibes the actual meaning of chop suey as such:

Generally, however, the name "chop suey" or "za sui", when used in Chinese, has the entirely different meaning of cooked animal offal or entrails.

I wish I could've been present at the meetings where the name was decided. I imagine their short list of potential names looked something like this:

- All Taste Same
- The Gourmet Gook
- Me So Solly's Sizzling BBQ
- The Chink House
- Puppy Chow
- Yellowman Meat Emporium
- Chinkity Chong-Chong Ching Chong Food

Hm. Come to think of it, perhaps Chop Suey wasn't the worst choice.

What a crock. I hope that restaurant fucking crashes and burns.

-e

UPDATE: I took a glance at the latest online Zagat user reviews. Most of them are negative or mediocre. Ha!

Better Vocab = Free Rice

2007-11-08T10:49:00.000-05:00

One of the more interesting "donation" sites I've seen lately. This one is called Free Rice. It works like this: you play a vocabulary guessing/building game. For every word you correctly define (it's multiple choice, don't worry), they will donate 10 grains of rice through the United Nations. The words get pretty hard/obscure and honestly, the site is just pleasant to look at.

Pretty cool, eh?

-e

Quote of the Day: Titanium Neckbands

2007-11-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

It's a good thing they don't make titanium neckbands... Because then they'd have to cut your head off!

- My co-worker, upon hearing that people with titanium rings sometimes need to have their fingers removed in the emergency room, because the ER staff can't cut through the ring.

Dancing Storm Trooper

2007-11-03T08:47:00.000-04:00

This one is pretty self-explanatory:

Things I Learned From This Video:

- Japanese pedestrians can't dance.
- Japanese Storm Troopers, on the other hand, can.
- It's fun to watch dancing Storm Troopers when you're hungover and unable to sleep.

Things I Am Still Confused About:

- Why hasn't Darth Vader come and kicked this guy's ass for fucking around in the streets of Japan instead of fighting the rebels?
- What's with the guy with the yellow bag on his foot around 1:17??

-e

The Police - MSG - Halloween '07

2007-11-02T21:14:00.001-04:00

Oh boy oh boy... Did I have a treat on Halloween night. And no, it wasn't the hemline of my girlfriend's costume (though I won't lie, it was nice). I'm talking about getting to see a sold out POLICE show at one of my favorite venues, Madison Square Garden!!

They kicked things off with Message in a Bottle, went right into Synchronicity II, and didn't stop until their 4-song encore was over. Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers were in top form, with Sting's still-insane tenor voice soaring over Copeland's frenetic drumming and Summer's inspired guitar work.

As an extra Halloween treat, the boys were all dressed up for the ocassion: Sting as a jester (my girlfriend loved those tights), Summers as Charlie Chaplain, and Copeland as either Cobra Commander or some sort of dead, uh... thing. And to top it off, the crew re-worked the lights for Every Little Thing She Does (Is Magic) to be orange themed. Nice.

We were sitting all the way in the back, literally, with our backs against the holy walls of MSG... But the view and the sound were still amazing. A sold out show at MSG is good from any seat in the house... Especially when the guys on stage are The Police!

That show was worth every dollar of that marked up StubHub ticket!

-e

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T16:59:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween, everyone! Here's a pumkpin I carved this weekend:

-e

New Business: DessertTruck!

2007-10-30T12:34:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine who goes to business school at Columbia forwarded me some info on a new business that's opening up tonight. It's called DessertTruck... Sounds like a great concept to me. It's pretty self-explanatory, but here's a note from one of the two founders of the company, Chris Chen:

For those who are unfamiliar with my company, DessertTruck is a new mobile food concept. Using great ingredients and the highest standards for execution, we bring desserts from the world of fine-dining into the realm of everyday enjoyment. At our mobile food truck, there's no bullshit, no pretension. Just really good desserts. Passion for food is our inspiration. But making people smile, one dessert at a time, is our ultimate goal.

DessertTruck will be opening on Tuesday night at 6PM. Our location is 8th St and University Place, accessible by the 1, A, B, C, D, E, F, V, R, W, and 6 trains.

A PDF of their opening menu can be found here. I've heard the creme brulee is excellent. Go get some dessert from a truck!

-e

How to Shotgun A Beer Bottle

2007-10-29T16:37:00.000-04:00

Shotgunning, as many of us know, is a method of chugging a beer, whereby the chugger punches a hole in the side of a beer can, then cracks open the top and sucks down the beer. This is most effective when the hole is made towards the bottom of the can, which is then tilted "up" to it's normal orientation before opening the top of the can.

Recently at a after-work happy hour session, a co-worker informed me about a way to shotgun a beer from a bottle. Clearly, one cannot very well punch a hole in the side of a glass bottle. But, chugging a beer through the mouth of a bottle is difficult given a) the pressure differential created by sucking the beer out of the bottle or b) the relatively slow rate of beer drainage when one simply holds the bottle upside down.

Thus, there is a technique which, according to the omniscient Wikipedia, is known as "strawpedoing, bendy-straw, or shnorkelling." Wiki describes the process as such:

A bendy straw is inserted into the top of the bottle and the small end is bent down and held over the edge of the bottle. To drink, the mouth of the bottle and the elbow of the bendy straw is put in the mouth and upended. The bendy straw ensures a steady flow of air into the bottle, and the drink can therefore be consumed very quickly.

The Wikipedia article notes that people have actually innovated and elaborated upon this idea:

Devices have now been designed in order to both speed up and simplify the process of a strawpedo. The device consists of a large plastic tube with a smaller thinner tube inserted inside it. The large tube is placed over the top of the bottle and the beverage consumed similarly to a standard strawpedo. These are commonly known in the UK as bottle bongs or party shooters.

Who knew? It's really too bad I'm not in college anymore and don't often have to (or want to) shotgun beers. But this knowledge would definitely have come in handy several years ago. Oh well.

...But for those of you who might still be in need of a way to chug large quantities of beer from bottles, do take note.

-e

Coming Soon...?

2007-10-28T12:02:00.000-04:00

So up in the small little town of Margaretville, NY, there is a movie theater... coming. Soon?

I don't really know what to make of this.

-e

Quote of the Day: Sleepwalking

2007-10-25T14:00:00.000-04:00

Quote of the day:

I guess you can't really go too far if you're sleep walking... If you end up in India, you've been kidnapped.

- My co-worker, during a discussion on sleepwalking

Nickname Potential

2007-10-24T13:26:00.000-04:00

According to Brad, my name "has some serious nickname potential." Allow Brad to demonstrate:

if you're sad: bluegene
if you move to a new place: newgene
if you get scared: boogene
if you're frustrated about something: stewgene
if you're drunk: brewgene
if you're getting it on with a chick: screwgene
if you smell: pewgene
if you're sick: flugene
if you just escaped from a dangerous situation: phewgene
if you're using the bathroom: poogene
if you're grossed out: ewgene
if you're involved in a multi-artist concert: lollapaloogene
if your apartment is cold in the wintertime: igloogene
if you're associated with a group whose mascot is a bear: baloogene
if something ain't quite right: askewgene
if you're doing something classically you: truegene

Ah Brad.

-e

Crazy Subway Person #2: Apparently, He's An Alien

2007-10-22T13:21:00.000-04:00

I ran into this guy a while back... It was late at night, but there were still a bunch of people riding the trains at the time. This old-ish guy boards the train with one of those bobbly headbands on. Y'know, with the two springs with little styrofoam balls at each end? This should've been my first clue that this was no ordinary man. What sort of man was he? Well...

The second thing I noticed was that he was carrying around a saxophone. No idea where this cat got it, but my guess was that he's not a local musician looking for a little rehearsal. Mr. Crazy Person then proceeded to wrap his mouth all the way around the mouthpiece of the sax and blow. HARD. The squeal that came out of the sax was bad enough... But to make things more interesting (perhaps to add some melodic structure to his subway opus) he would then rapidly and randomly press all the keys on the body of the sax.

Of course, any sane (or conscious) person on the train at this point was staring at this madman and/or holding their hands over their ears. But the thing that made this guy absolutely certifiable was what he did in between blowing on his horn. That is, he'd stop just long enough to scream, "I'M AN ALIEN!!" or "THIS IS HOW I COMMUNICATE!!"

Yeah. There's not much else to this one.

-e

Quote of The Day: Natural Defenses

2007-10-19T10:34:00.000-04:00

I wish I got scared and then became cool.

- My co-worker upon hearing that rats poop when they get scared

Crazy Subway Person #1: The Proselytizing Jamaican Guy

2007-10-16T11:17:00.000-04:00

I see lots of crazy people on the subway. So I decided to write about them. Starting with this gem, the Proselytizing Jamaican Guy. Ahem...

This morning, some old Jamaican dude got on the train and starts preaching about God, Jesus, and about how if we don't believe in Him/Them, we're all going to Hell. Now, I have nothing against Jamaicans, nor do I have anything against old men. And I don't really have anything against Christianity, or those that practice it, for the most part.

But I REALLY have something against somenoe standing a foot away from me, preaching in a REALLY LOUD VOICE about how the day of JUDGEMENT is coming and how I'm going to HELL if I don't devote my life to Jesus... at 9 in the MORNING on my WAY TO WORK.

I'm a nice person. I like people. And in general, I like that people have the right to say and believe whatever they damn well please. Go America. But despite my general good natured tendencies, vivid visions of the following scenarios unfolded in my head during my, normally peaceful, commute:

a) I turn around and punched the old bastard in the face, evoking, at first, gasps of surprise from the occupants of the subway car, followed quickly by thunderous applause.

b) When the train makes its next stop, I casually grab the back of his jacket and walk him, firmly, to the threshold of the train car. I then politely throw him out onto the platform. Again, the gasps and applause would follow.

c) During one of his emphatic rants about how Hell is very, very, very, very, very bad, I would raise my hand and ask, in a rather obnoxious and asinine manner, "Um, excuse me? Crazy man? I have a question: how bad is Hell? Very? Or 'very very'? I wasn't clear on that last part. Can you be more specific?" Train car denizens would chuckle at my satirical wit.

d) But what I really wanted, with all my heart, was for some random occurance to cause him to shut up. For instance, the train stops suddenly, sending him tumbling forward, bringing an end to his incessant jabbering. I'd see this happen and without hesitating I'd scream, "THANK GOD!" The train would then erupt in laughter and applause and I'd exit the car with a smug, asshole-ish smile on my face.

Why did I feel completely justified in imagining these things? Yes, the guy's annoying, but really, did he do anything to harm me? No. But, I'm willing to bet that if God really does exist, I'm sure he realizes that the worst time to try to convince someone he's the Lord and Savior is during rush hour on a crowded New York subway car. And I can't imagine he's super happy that this insane person is representing him, either.

-e

In honor of Friday...

2007-10-12T16:08:00.001-04:00

I give you... The original dancing banana:

Power Thirst: It's Crystal Meth in a Can

2007-10-10T15:29:00.000-04:00

I normally don't post stuff like this. But this had me laughing for about 5 minutes straight. My co-workers thought I was crazy. Enjoy!

-e

Shanghai Kiss

2007-10-09T13:36:00.001-04:00

Apparently there's this movie called Shanghai Kiss that came out on DVD recently. I think it might've been a straight-to-DVD thing, but regardless, it looks good for a few reasons:

1) It's got an Asian American dude in the lead role (Ken Leung)
2) Ken stars opposite Hayden Panettiere, who plays his love interest
3) Ken's character Liam has a SECOND love interest, played by none other than Kelly Hu
4) See #2 and #3
5) See #1

So that about sums it up. Check the trailer here.

And, if you're really interested, buy it on Amazon.

A Poem

2007-10-04T15:25:00.000-04:00

I don't normally post things like this, but this piece really struck a chord with me.

---------------------------

Tomorrow
by David Budbill

Tomorrow
we are
bones and ash,
the roots of weeds
poking through
our skulls.

Today,
simple clothes,
empty mind,
full stomach,
alive, aware,
right here,
right now.

Drunk on music,
who needs wine?

Come on,
Sweetheart,
let's go dancing
while we've
still got feet.

Hobby: Creating Facebook Groups

2007-10-02T13:10:00.001-04:00

Yeah, it's true. Check them out:

Whatever - A group for that "bleh, whatever" feeling.

Hi, My Name Is _______ And I'm An Apple Slut - I've called myself an Apple Slut for quite some time. I figured maybe there were some others out there that felt similarly.

For every person that joins, I will donate $.1 to the victims of Trogdor - A tribute to one of the greatest Internet cartoons ever.

Don't Ask Me... Just Google It! - I'm just sick of people asking me for information that could be very easily obtained online. This, of course, only applies to those that are sitting in front of a computer at the time. I'm more than happy to be an internet proxy for my friends when they are in a bind.

I Love Spike's Junkyard Dogs - Beacuse I do. And you should too.

Born In Chinese - This one's dedicated to my record label, Born In Chinese.

So there you have it.

-e

10 Things I Learned This Weekend

2007-10-01T11:48:00.000-04:00

I learned a few things this weekend. Please allow me to share them with you:

1) Don't go apple picking at Wilkens Fruit & Fir Farm up in Yorktown Heights, NY. Their orchards are small, the selection blows, it's very disorganized, and they are grumpy bitches. We were told they charge by the pound... Then when we went to pay for our apples (we had very few due to the poor selection) we were told that we must've heard wrong (great customer service technique, btw), and that they actually charge you $13 for anything equal to or less than a half bag. Anything over that is $23, up to a full bag. I only had a quarter-full bag, so you could imagine I was a little peeved. We found it kind of difficult to believe that 7 intelligent people ALL heard wrong, but whatever. The cashier's defense? They have signs that say differently. That's great, but when an actual person that works at the orchard tells me something, I'm going to assume she knows what she's talking about. Their cider donuts are pretty good, but it's definitely not worth it to have to put up with bitchy 16-year old cashiers that need a good ass-kicking. Save yourself the trouble and go elsewhere.

2) Apple picking is WAY more fun with an old man in a shack that tells you where all the best apples are.

3) Bees really like apple cider. And cider donuts.

4) Apple cider is apparently difficult to make. But mulled cider isn't (provided you already have the cider).

5) Planet Earth is one of the best nature series ever created. You really should watch it.

6) There is a lake in Africa that's 700 meters deep.

7) 1 in 10 people who try to surmount Mt. Everest die trying.

8) Penguins in Antarctica sit around in a giant huddle in -70 degree Celsius weather with no sun, no food, and no water for 4 months. And you thought our winters were bad.

9) Martin Sexton is coming to NYC! And I have tickets. Huzzah!

10) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition will almost always make me tear up. That's right. I'm not afraid to say it. I mean, c'mon. How often do you see people doing amazingly nice things for amazingly nice people on TV?

-e

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy...

2007-09-05T14:38:00.000-04:00

According to engaget.com, Apple just cut their 8 gig iPhone price to $399! (that's down from $599)

Woohoo!

-e

Michael "Jedi" Jackson

2007-08-30T16:19:00.001-04:00

So do you know the intro to "Don't Stop 'Til You Get It On" by Michael Jackson? Well, during the first 30 seconds of the song, MJ is mumbling sort of incoherrently to himself (or someone else?) afterwhich he erupts with a big "WOO!" and the song starts. Well, my buddy took the time to figure out what he's saying... so to our best knowledge, here it is:

You know i was, i was wondering you know, if, if you could keep him, because the force has got a lot of power, and it make me feel like ah, it, it make me feel like, uh...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The force does indeed have a lot of power, Mr. Jackson.

-e

Cell Phone Carriers' Secret!

2007-07-07T10:16:00.000-04:00

Hehe... Yet another excerpt from David Pogue's NY Times blog, where he describes a half-joking comment he made to a cellular exec at a big cellular-industy conference in Lake Como, Italy:

(P.S. … As longtime Pogue’s Posts readers know, my biggest cellular pet peeve is the endless recording you hear when you reach someone’s voicemail: “To page this person, press 2 now. You may leave a message at the tone. When you finish recording, you may hang up. Or press 5 for more options”—and so on.

At the conference, I asked one cellular executive if that message is deliberately recorded slowly and with as many words as possible, to eat up your airtime and make more ARPU [Average Revenue Per User] for the cell carrier. I was half kidding—but he wasn’t fooling around in his reply: “Yes.”

The secret’s out.)

Aaaaaa-HA!

-e

An Incredible (and hilarious) iPhone story

2007-07-03T17:58:00.000-04:00

Check this report out from David Pogue's NY Times blog:

It seems that an enterprising Dallas woman brought $16,000 in cash to her local AT&T store on Friday, with the intention of buying out the store’s entire inventory of iPhones and then selling them on eBay. She breezed up to Mark Rebillet, the man at the head of the line, who’d been waiting there for hours, and offered him $800 to surrender his place in line. He agreed.

Turns out it was an excellent trade. Sure enough, the enterprising entrepreneur, who quite reasonably declined to give her name, was first in the door. That’s the first she heard about AT&T’s rule: one iPhone per customer.

As for Mark Rebillet: he, too, made it in the door before all the iPhones were gone. He spent much of the $800 on an iPhone and loads of accessories, in effect getting it all for free.

How awesome is that??

-e

I've Been Tagged...

2007-05-10T14:12:00.000-04:00

i got tagged by katulli:

Rules:

1. Get tagged.
2. List five things that have not been revealed on your blog.
3. Tag five others.

------------------

1. I just graduated from grad school this week. Twice.

2. I got a drumset for my graduation present. Childhood dream come true at last!

3. Instead of giving a speech, Wynton Marsalis played a trumpet piece written just for the NYU grads at commencement today. It was freaking awesome. I forgot all about being hungry and sleepy.

4. I admit it. I really like the new Katherine McPhee song, Love Story.

5. The last episode of Scrubs went from making me smile to making me want to cry in about 2.8 seconds.

I tag:

...well, no one, beacuse I don't really know if anyone reads this thing!

-e

Listerine Recalled Due to Bacteria...?

2007-04-14T18:02:00.000-04:00

Is it just me, or does this strike anyone else as counter-intuitive... Here's an excerpt from a recent Wall Street Journal article:

A unit of Johnson & Johnson said Wednesday it is recalling all bottles of a Listerine "plaque detection" product primarily aimed at children after testing found some batches were contaminated with bacteria.

...Buh??

-e

Quote of the Day: Ahnold the Governator

2007-04-13T11:03:00.000-04:00

This could've easily been a McBain quote from the Simpsons... But this is actually what the Governator said during a speech he made at Georgetown University:

"Your political base will melt away as surely as the polar ice caps -- I can guarantee you of that...You will become a political penguin on a smaller and smaller ice floe, drifting out to sea. Goodbye, my little friend."

Hehe... Read the whole article here.

-e

NYU Student Profile

2007-03-27T14:55:00.000-04:00

So a while back, I was asked by my school to submit this profile thingy. They said it might be posted up on the NYU website. The profile questions were kind of strange, and they asked for "lighthearted" answers. Well... It got posted! Hehe. Here it is:

http://steinhardt.nyu.edu/profiles/graduate/eugene_song

-e

A Lighthearted Story

2007-03-27T14:53:00.001-04:00

An old man lived alone in the country.

He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie

Professor Fitterman: Fucking Insane

2007-03-05T23:25:00.000-05:00

Some of you know who Professor Fitterman is. Some don't. But it doesn't matter. I'm sure after reading the following story, you will all agree that she is insane. Fucking insane. Don't believe me? Think I'm being harsh? Haha... Read on, my friends:

(Note: This all happened earlier tonight)

I got to Professor Fitterman’s Concert Management class around 7:00pm, roughly fifteen minutes late (stupid trains). We were taking the midterm exam that evening, so I hurried into class, picked up my exam and began working on it.

Around 7:45pm, I finished the exam and brought it to the front of the classroom. Professor Fitterman was answering another student’s question, so I left the exam on the desk in plain view, a foot away from where she was sitting. Since I had arrived late, I did not know if we were excused after finishing the exam so I walked out of the classroom to take a short break.

I checked my voicemail, sent a few text messages to my brother, and got a snack from the vending machine on the 5th floor. Wanting to give my fellow classmates the courtesy of finishing their exams without the sound of my eating, and knowing that Professor Fitterman does not allow eating in the classroom (what, are we in 5th grade?), I ate my Sun Chips in the hallway outside the classroom.

A few minutes later, after throwing away my trash, I went back into the classroom and walked to my desk. I then noticed that Eryn had finished her exam and was packing up her things to leave. Still unsure as to whether or not I could leave for the evening, I reached into my bag and grabbed a promotional copy of the CD that my record label was about to release and headed out after Eryn with the intention of showing it to her.

In the hallway, I walked up to Eryn and let her examine the CD and its jacket, explaining that I would give her a new, unwrapped copy soon. Our conversation was cut short, however, when I heard someone say in an angry whisper, “GUYS!”

I turned around to see Professor Fitterman, eyes blazing, walking out of the classroom. She then proceeded to scream at us. The following is what Eryn and I remember her saying. Now, it's not an exact word-for-word transcription, I assure you it is fairly accurate:

“GUYS! Are you FUCKING insane?! Talking to each other while the exam is still going on?? Cheating?! Now I’m going to have to rip up both of your exams and throw them in the trash!!”

That's right. My professor, a GRADUATE SCHOOL professor screamed at me and asked me if I was FUCKING INSANE. Needless to say, Eryn and I were both stunned at the sheer force and anger in Professor Fitterman’s voice (in other words, we were like "wtf, dude?"). In fact, neither of us really knew what was going on until Professor Fitterman said the word “cheating.” After her initial tirade, I, with a hint of defensiveness, explained that I had already turned in my exam. The professor claimed that she hadn’t seen me do so. I insisted that I had and that, in fact, my exam was underneath Eryn’s on the table next to where the professor had been sitting. Then, with a brisk and half-assed apology (something to the effect of "Oh. Sorry.") the professor walked back into the classroom.

There were numerous alternatives that Professor Fitterman should have considered and executed. The simplest and most fucking obvious option would have been to give me the benefit of the doubt and simply ask if I had turned in my exam! Or, I don't know, maybe she could've refrained from being an absolute LUNATIC and just walked up to us and calmly explained why she was concerned. But no. She instead had to yell and curse at us. Awesome.

So there you have it. This is why I feel perfectly justified calling my professor fucking insane.

-e

'Fraidy KKKats

2007-02-07T12:01:00.000-05:00

So I was reading CNN today and came across a story entitled, "Klan growing, fed by anti-immigrant feelings, report says." Now, aside from the "goo" feeling I get from even hearing the name of this organization, one question always comes to mind whenever I hear about the KKK...

That is, why the hoods? If you're so proud of being white, why hide your face?

Just a thought.

-e

I want to be an Astronaut when I grow up! ... or not.

2007-02-06T13:23:00.000-05:00

This is by far the funniest article I've read in a long, long time. And it was in the NY Times, no less (no, not The Onion). This psychotic woman (who, by the way, is a NASA Astronaut) was arrested and charged with attempted kidnapping. But it gets so much better... read on:

A NASA astronaut who drove hundreds of miles to confront a romantic rival, wearing diapers on the journey so that she would not have to stop to use the restroom, appeared in court today facing charges that included attempted kidnapping, and was ordered released on $15,500 bond.

Lisa Nowak, 43, drove hundreds of miles to confront a rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, according to police.

The astronaut, Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew on a shuttle mission last summer, mostly kept her head down during the preliminary appearance in an Orange County, Fla. court, but nodded and said “yes” a few times when the judge explained that she was not to have any contact with the other woman, identified as Colleen Shipman, a captain in the Air Force, according to media reports. Mrs. Nowak, who is a Navy captain working for NASA, was also ordered to wear a tracking device.

The Orlando police allege that Mrs. Nowak drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando -- wearing adult diapers -- and disguised herself in a dark wig, glasses and trench coat to confront Ms. Shipman in the parking lot of Orlando International Airport, according to a police affidavit. Mrs. Nowak considered her a rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, according to the affidavit.

The Orlando police said that Mrs. Nowak followed Ms. Shipman to a parking lot at the airport, where Ms. Shipman entered her car. Mrs. Nowak approached the car window and tried to open the door. When Ms. Shipman would not open the door, Mrs. Nowak began to cry, the police said. Ms. Shipman cracked the window, and Mrs. Nowak sprayed pepper spray into the vehicle.

Um... Psycho?

She later told police, “that was stupid,” according to the affidavit.

Yeah. No kidding.

"Nowak felt that she needed to meet with Shipman and discuss the details of their relationship with the male astronaut,” a police statement said.

Mrs. Nowak was arrested on Monday and also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery.

Her court appearance was broadcast live on television. Stations displayed file photos of the astronaut smiling broadly in an orange space suit, juxtaposed alongside the police mug shot of Mrs. Nowak after her arrest, her brow furrowed and hair splayed in different directions.

In court today, her attorney argued that she was an “excellent candidate for pre-trial release” because she had no criminal record, and that he saw no attempt to kidnap, but rather an “attempt to speak to some one in their vehicle.” He said that Mrs. Nowak had an exemplary record of commitment to her space career and the country, indicating she could be trusted to return to court and to stay away from Ms. Shipman. “One’s good works must count for something,” he said.

The state attorney said that the facts indicated a well-thought-out plan to kidnap and perhaps to injure Ms. Shipman.

A NASA official told the court today that before the incident, Mrs. Nowak, who is married with three children, and Ms. Shipman were strangers.

During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Mrs. Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and a BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, rubber gloves, $600 in cash, love letters — all in bags and in her car, the police said.

During the July shuttle mission last year, Mrs. Nowak’s tasks included operating a robotic arm. Commander Oefelein served on a mission by space shuttle Discovery in December.

"Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish"

2007-01-31T23:44:00.000-05:00

This is kind of old news... But the video for this speech came up on my iTunes today.

Back in 2005, Steve Jobs gave the commencement address at Stanford University. You can read the whole speech here. But the following is what I thought was the best part:

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart...

...No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

London Adventures

2007-01-15T09:22:00.000-05:00

The night after we went to check out Just Jack, a group of us went to the birthday party of the lead singer of a British band called Embrace. First we met up with some friends at a pub, at which Pavla was confronted with the largest beer glass she's ever seen:

Granted, the thing was only a pint, but it sure looked bigger. Anyhow, one of the beers she had been talking about since we got to London was a Czech beer called Budvar. Apparently, people have been brewing this beer in the town of Budweis since 1265. Unfortunately, they didn't really trademark the beer until 19 years after Anheuser-Busch came out with Budweiser. So for now, the beer is marketed as Budvar or Czechvar (its known as the latter in the US). This is what Pavla thinks of Anheuser-Busch and their trademark:

Here's a closer look at the beer:

Anyhow, soon we proceeded to the party, which was packed. It was held on the roof of this art gallery in Camdentown. The alcohol was a bit on the pricey side, but nothing unheard of in NYC. We saw several bands play, including this band called NeatPeople, who I thought were pretty great. The closer of the evening was a band called Keith, who Eryn thought were just peachy. (see picture)

Afterwards, Steph, Justin and I rode in a double decker bus to get home. Since the bus was near empty, we got to ride on the upper level at the front. Thing is, late at night, there aren't that many cars on the road. Add to that the apparent death wish that the bus driver had, and you get one exciting bus ride home. Plus, being on the top of the bus skews your perception of the road, so it always looks like you're going to crash into the median or a tree or something. This was by far the most exciting 10 minutes of the evening. Here's a pic I took during the ride:

More later!

-e

iPhone!

2007-01-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

More on London soon... but for now, feast your eyes on the latest work of genius from the folks at Apple:

Me likey. Check out the details here.

-e

We're walking, we're walking...

2007-01-07T12:43:00.000-05:00

After class today, we took a walking tour of the East End with the same company we used for the Ghosts, Gaslights and Guinness tour, as noted in my last entry. Luckily, this one turned out to be much more interesting. At least, the stories were more interesting. Unfortunately, it got a lot colder during the course of the two hour ordeal. Plus, we were all STARVING, which didn't help.

What did help, however, was that the tour ended at Brick Lane, an area known for its Indian cuisine. Yum. We walked around for a bit, found a bagel shop that the tour guide claimed had the best (and cheapest) bagels in London, then made our way back up Brick Lane to a random Indian restaurant. I have to admit, though, that I was slightly disappointed with the quality of the food. It wasn't bad, by any stretch of the imagination. But it just wasn't mind-blowingly good. I haven't given up though... I will try again later this week, for sure!

Oh... Several of us were also very tired after the tour. Gorging ourselves on Indian food didn't help, either, as Pavla demonstrates here:

Wandering About

2007-01-03T07:22:00.000-05:00

Today we started class. We're taking them at Birkbeck College... Yes, there were a few gratuitous "brokeback" jokes, but I think we got most of those out of our system after a few minutes. After class, Jackie, Pavla, Luis and I headed out to explore the city a bit. We wandered down towards the Thames, past Big Ben, Parliament, Westminster Abbey, across the Westminster bridge, then past the Robot Museum, the London Eye and made our way to pub along the river. Pavla was elated to find that they carried her favorite Czech beer, Staropramen, which was quite tasty, by the way.

After a brief rest at the hotel, Eryn, Stephanie, Tara, Ruby, Justin, Luis and I went on a walking tour through a tour company called London Walks. They have about 30 different themed tours. We decided to do one called Ghosts, Gaslight, and Guinness. Admitedly, I was mostly interested in that last part about the beer. But, the description sounded interesting enough:

This is the most haunted city on earth: unutterably old, built over a fen of undisclosed horrors, believed to contain occult lines of geometry. A city where the very mist is like a sigh from a graveyard. Now I don't want to weird you out, but where we're going tonight time past and time present can fuse...especially when the daylight bleeds away. If in a dark window you see an even darker silhouette staring back, or if the branches of a tree suddenly shiver like a spider's web that's caught something, or if you follow a stranger into a graveyard (or a pub where everything isn't as it seems)...you could well be wayfaring to the rebecks of eternity. Fancy a pint?

Now, doesn't that sound enticing? Well, we thought so. Unfortunately, we were wrong. The tourguide was creepy enough and played the part well. However, the ghost stories themselves were pretty lame and campy. Most of the ghost sightings he described happened about 75 years ago and haven't happened again since. Luis bailed about 20 minutes in. The rest of us decided it was time to go when we finally got to the pub and the tourguide declared "Okay, you can all go in and buy a pint now!" Please... If this 6 pound ripoff doesn't even include the pint of Guinness, then forget it. We found a pub of our own and I got me a pint of Guinness. Yum.

That's about it for tonight... I've uploaded a few pictures from our nighttime stroll below!

-e

The First Day

2007-01-03T02:16:00.000-05:00

My first night in London was pretty low key. I arrived on time and proceeded to customs, where I met with a bit more resistance than normal. The customs officer was obviously new to the job and was being trained by her supervisor. As a result, she was asking me practically every question in the book... and the ones that she missed were asked by her supervisor. They asked me what I was doing in London, so I told them I was here as a student, which is normally enough to get you through. However, they asked me for some sort of official proof of enrollment, which of course I didn't have because I wasn't officially enrolled in any London school. They kept asking for any sort of proof that I was here to do what I said I was here to do, so finally I gave them my orientation folder and study abroad handbook. The supervisor flipped through the handbook for about 2 seconds and said, "Okay that'll do." Jerky.

After going through all that, I grabbed my luggage and met up with Pavla, who was waiting patiently for me outside of baggage claim. We made a quick pitstop at the restrooms, the ATM, the phone, and then it was off to our first ride on the tube (that's what they call the subway here). The subway system in London is, for the most part, very efficient and clean. Like many train systems in Europe, they have signs telling you when the next trains are coming, which is so very nice. Supposedly they're installing those things in NYC, but who knows when that'll actually happen.

45 very crowded minutes later, we arrived at our Underground stop, Holborn. We ascended what must have been 5 or 6 stories of escalator and then finally got our first glimpse of downtown London. We made our way to the hotel, which was just a few blocks away and checked into our rooms.

One note about my room: I was fortunate enough to luck out and get a single room for myself at the hotel. I didn't sign up, or pay, for one, but the hotel ran out of doubles and was forced to give our group a couple of single rooms. And since the guy in the study abroad office who organized this trip knows me, he gave me one of them. In the immortal words of Butthead: Thcore.

First on the agenda was the reception for the whole London Study Abroad program, which included two other classes. We gathered in one of the hotel's conference rooms, talked, ate sandwiches and milled about. Then we headed to a nearby pub to hang out in a slightly less formal setting and get our first sampling of British beers. The funniest thing about this outing was the music. Initially when we walked into the Museum Pub (across from the gigantic British Museum), there was hardly anyone in there and no music playing. After about 20 of us settled in and started ordering drinks, the bartender decided it was about time to start playing some music... His first choice? That's right. Britney Spears. Which was followed by the likes of Avril and Christina and eventually hits like "Who Let The Dogs Out." Classic. Apparently, after the bulk of us left, they put on the Rolling Stones and left it on. It was all hilarious, no doubt... but next time I think I'll have to request they switch to the Stones a little earlier.

Then it was back to the hotel to rest up for the first day of class... More later!

-e

Getting to London

2007-01-02T08:37:00.000-05:00

For the most part, my trip thus far has been pretty uneventful. I suppose I should be thankful for that, considering the adventure I had trying to get to Sydney this past summer.

I did, however, experience one of the most beautiful sights I've seen from an airplane while taking off from JFK. It was a rainy, foggy and cloudy afternoon, so at first, take off was nothing special. In fact, for most of it, visibility ended about 10' from my window. But as we pulled up out of the thick layer of rain clouds, all of a sudden I saw blue sky and a mountain range of white, fluffy clouds. I mean, literally, it looked like someone had sculpted a mountain range out of water vapor. It was beautiful.

Due to my stupidity/oversight, I managed to book my flight such that I have a nine-hour layover in Frankfurt. Actually, I am sitting outside of a Haagen-Dazs in the Frankfurt airport writing this entry right now. I arrived this morning around 5:30 am, local time. Wanting to try to adjust my clock, I decided to try to take a nap first. The airport has a section of pseudo laz-y-boy type chairs... except they have no cushioning, and they aren't adjustable in any way. Oh, and they're definitely not made for 6'1" people. But, they were fairly comfortable, especially compared to the cramped accommodations of the economy section of the Lufthansa airplane cabin. Unfortunately, my body was just not having any of that. So after unsuccessfully trying to nap, I decided to explore the airport terminal a bit.

First, I got something to eat. I opted to avoid the McDonalds and go for the "cafe" instead. The only thing on the menu that looked appetizing in the least was the "Ham cheese toast." I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to get. I imagined getting a slice of toast with ham and cheese baked into it... or a piece of ham laid next to a piece of cheese, accompanied with a triangle of toast. Luckily, it turned out to be a ham and cheese panini of sorts... They managed to brown the toast on the outside while keeping the cheese slightly warm and the ham cold as ice. Lovely.

One interesting feature of the Frankfurt airport is the "smoking areas." Every 150 yards or so, you'll find a group of smokers huddled around what look like that little island at the bank on which you find deposit slips and such. Except instead of deposit slips, there are tiny vents which, I assume, are meant to suck in the smoke. Now, I'm not sure exactly who's trying to fool who, but let it be known that no one is really being fooled here. I would've figured that German people realize that simply getting smokers to stand closer together doesn't make the smoke any less hazardous or annoying to the non-smokers just trying to get a ham cheese toast for breakfast.

Also conveniently placed on these kiosks are smoking ads (of course). The funny thing is, the Germans, while perhaps unwilling to contain their smokers in an actual room, are perfectly willing to forgo the tobacco warnings that most Americans are used to seeing (i.e. "The surgeon general warns against smoking etc."). Instead, they've opted for a more direct approach. Written in huge block letters on every cigarette ad, box and pack are the words "SMOKING KILLS." Now, I'm glad that they aren't farting around with vague or misleading warnings about the dangers of cigarette smoke, but look... if smoking kills, why can't you just ban it from indoor public areas like we do?! Maybe they should have signs near the smoking areas that say "Don't come too close! Smoking kills!"

In other news, I'm officially sick of screaming babies. That's right. I'm tapping out. I can't take it anymore. Add to that category "insane hyperactive toddlers." Oh, and people. Put people in there too. I'm done with people as well. All I want is a hot shower, a clean bathroom that doesn't reek of human waste (yeah, the bathrooms are pretty crappy here), and a place to lie down that isn't the airport floor. Oh yeah, I took a nap on the airport floor... Because the wannabe laz-y-boy chairs were all taken. So I slept next to them.

Actually, another funny story... So while I was drifting off to sleep, I heard this old man stop and ask the fellow sitting near me, "Hey! You! Why are you sitting there?!" The guy sitting there was understandably confused, but simply answered, "I was tired so I sat down." The old man, apparently unaware that he might've been the slightest bit odd (or rude), plowed on with his questioning and began to interrogate the sitting fellow about the train system and where to find the nearest station. The old man then set off to find said train station. Old people are so weird.

It is now 12:15pm, Frankfurt time. They actually won't let me go through security and get to my gate until 2pm. I have another 2 hours to kill. Sigh. I think I'm going to go insane. Actually, I think going insane would be easier than waiting another 2 hours to get to the gate (at which point I'll have to wait one more hour to board the plane). On the other hand, going insane sounds like something that requires energy. And I'm running pretty low on that right now. Maybe it was the McDonalds I ate. ...Oh yeah, I got hungry again and went for the McDonalds. Here are a few notes about the McDonalds here...

For one, I don't know what is up with the rest of the world's McDonalds and having to buy ketchup. WTF, mate?? It's just ketchup! I mean, maybe this is just the wasteful, excessive American in me talking... But dude. It's just ketchup. Last I checked, there isn't a shortage of ketchup anywhere.

Also, their buns actually kind of look like the buns you see on the commercials. Y'know how normally you get your McFat Burger and the bun's all soggy and crap. Well, this one was actually nice and round. And slightly toasted! Amazing.

Additional menu items: As an alternative to french fries, you could order these french fry-like potato disks. Intriguing. You can also order this dessert that, from what I could tell, is basically deep fried chocolate balls. Normally, that would sound pretty awesome. Except for some reason, because it has "Mc" in its name, it kind of makes me want to vomit.

Alright, I am starting to get sleepy again. I have to decide if I want to take another nap and risk missing my flight ... or just grit my teeth and get a coke or something. yeah, I know... i should just go buy a coke. you're right.

Well, hopefully, my next entry will be from jolly old London! Wish me luck! (even though by the time you read this, your luck will be useless to me. But wish it anyway.)

-e

Virgil Goode = Bad

2006-12-21T10:59:00.000-05:00

So apparently, Minnesota Rep.-elect Keith Ellison is about to be the first Muslim sworn into congress. Being Muslim, he wants to be sworn in on the Quran, not the Bible. Makes sense to me.

Well, it doesn't make sense to Virgil Goode (seen here on the left), a Republican representative from Virginia. No no... We god-fearing Christians gotta look out fer them muuzlims! They all crazy!!

In a letter to CNN, Mr. Goode said the following:

"When I raise my hand to take the oath on Swearing In Day, I will have the Bible in my other hand. I do not subscribe to using the Quran in any way.

"The Muslim representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Quran.

In the words of that guy from SNL, "OHH NOOOOOOO!!!" [insert big roll of the eyes here]

"We need to stop illegal immigration totally and reduce legal immigration and end the diversity visas policy pushed hard by President Clinton and allowing many persons from the Middle East to come to this country.

"I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped."

Hm. Maybe we should make sure that no more white honkey racists immigrate to the States... Oh WAIT... We like them racists. We especially like 'em in office, right?

He added, "The Ten Commandments and 'In God We Trust' are on the wall in my office. A Muslim student came by the office and asked why I did not have anything on my wall about the Quran.

"My response was clear, 'As long as I have the honor of representing the citizens of the 5th District of Virginia in the United States House of Representatives, the Quran is not going to be on the wall of my office.' "

What is wrong with this asshole? Oh wait, that's right... He's fearful and racist. Oh nooo! Look out! The Muslims are coming! Aiieee!!!

What a crock of shit.

-e

Fuck You Too, Rosie O'Donnell

2006-12-11T11:04:00.000-05:00

I don't have a whole lot of time to write up a full posting on this... but hey, a YouTube video is worth a million words, right?

In case you were wondering, here is Rosie's response.

And here's her oh-so-eloquent response to a post on her website:

Will writes:
Rosie:
for someone who comes off to be so sensitive and aware of lgbt issues, why did you think it was alright to mock Chinese people and the language on The View (re:danny devito: ching chong …)???

it was not my intent to mock
just to say how odd it is
that danny drunk
was news all over the world
even in china

it was not meant to mock

Are her English skills are so poor that she doesn't know how to write with proper grammar? Or is she just mocking Asians again?

-e

The Joy of Scrabble

2006-11-29T18:48:00.001-05:00

For all you Scrabble lovers (and haters) out there:

-e

And Then There's This Guy...

2006-11-22T12:22:00.000-05:00

Steve "the Grape Guy" Spalding is looking to make the Guiness Book of World Records by catching grapes in his mouth. In fact, he's looking to set two records... One for most grapes caught in his mouth in 3 minutes (he did 116) and an endurance record (1,203 grapes caught in his mouth over a half hour from 15 feet away).

Sigh. It's simultaneously awesome and sad.

-e

UCLA Student Tasered for Refusing to Leave Library

2006-11-21T16:35:00.000-05:00

Ah, America. Land of the free, home of the brave. Where students get tased FIVE TIMES because they plant bombs in... oh wait, no... because they were violent-- no... no, that wasn't it either.

Oh RIGHT... This UCLA student got tased five times by campus police because he wouldn't leave the library! GOD FORBID he learn something he's not supposed to!! Except, he was actually on his way out of the library, according to this UCLA newspaper article:

At around 11:30 p.m., CSOs asked a male student using a computer in the back of the room to leave when he was unable to produce a BruinCard during a random check. The student did not exit the building immediately.

The CSOs left, returning minutes later, and police officers arrived to escort the student out. By this time the student had begun to walk toward the door with his backpack when an officer approached him and grabbed his arm, at which point the student told the officer to let him go. A second officer then approached the student as well.

The student began to yell "get off me," repeating himself several times.

It was at this point that the officers shot the student with a Taser for the first time, causing him to fall to the floor and cry out in pain.

Did it stop there? No no. They proceeded to tase him four more times. All the while commanding him to "stand up." Now, excuse me for noticing this small problem, but how is someone supposed to STAND UP if you are REPEATEDLY TASING THEM?! Fucking idiot rent-a-cops.

Oh, and did I mention that the student is Iranian? Coincidence? I don't think so.

And how do I know what the cops were saying? Because someone, thankfully, got the whole thing on video:

An article in the LA Times noted that the officer had a history of fucked up behavior:

In May 1990, he was accused of using his nightstick to choke someone who was hanging out on a Saturday in front of a UCLA fraternity. Kente S. Scott alleged that Duren confronted him while he was walking on the street outside the Theta Xi fraternity house.

Scott sued the university, and according to court records, UCLA officials moved to have Duren dismissed from the police force. But after an independent administrative hearing, officials overturned the dismissal, suspending him for 90 days.

Duren on Monday disputed the allegations made by Scott.

In October 2003, Duren shot and wounded a homeless man he encountered in Kerckhoff Hall. Duren chased the man into a bathroom, where they struggled and he fired two shots.

The homeless man, Willie Davis Frazier, was later convicted of assaulting an officer. Duren said Frasier had tried to grab his gun during the struggle. But Frazier's attorney, John Raphling, said his client was mentally ill and didn't do anything to provoke the shooting.

Obviously a standup, shinning example of a campus police officer. And obviously very effective in his, um, despensing of justice.

This guy should be fucking tased over and over again to see how he likes it. Asshole.

-e

OJ: "If I did it..."

2006-11-15T11:56:00.000-05:00

Sigh... OJ's back folks. That's right. He's coming out to say that he killed Nicol-- Oh wait. No no... He's coming out to say "well, I didn't do it... but if I did, here's how I would have done it..." C'mon, folks. Sometimes I read the CNN headlines and think, "Really? I mean... Really?"

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- In a new TV interview and book, O.J. Simpson discusses how he would have committed the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend "if I did it."

Some people just can't stand to be out of the spotlight.

The two-part television interview, titled "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," will air November 27 and November 29 on Fox, the TV network said Tuesday.

Heh... Big surprise, it's on Fox.

"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," the network said in a statement. "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."

Is it really that big of a deal that they'd dedicate two shows to it?

"This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. It's the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century," Mike Darnell, executive vice president of alternative programming for Fox, said in a statement.

Last chapter my ass. You just wait. In a few years, it'll be Fox reporting, "OJ Simpson: I did it, suckas!!"

The interview, conducted with book publisher Judith Regan, will air days before Simpson's new book, "If I Did It," goes on sale November 30. The book "hypothetically describes how the murders would have been committed," the network said.

Wait, so there's a book being published? And it's being released a few days after the interviews air? *gasp* ... big surprise.

Aren't there more important things to be reporting?

-e

Neighbors

2006-11-13T15:28:00.000-05:00

I live near some crazy people.

A few weeks ago, I had an encounter with an old man in my neighborhood. I was driving around and kind of swerving to avoid the various obstacles in the street (pedestrians, bikers, etc) when I saw this old man crossing the street 2 blocks ahead. In typical old man fashion, he was walking ... very........ slowly. However, he was a little more than halfway across the street, so I leaned my car to the left a bit to curve around him. Pretty standard.

So what does the old guy do? He STOPS in the middle of the street (now I will no longer be able to avoid him) forcing me to slam on my brakes to avoid killing him. Why did he stop, you ask? To lecture me on driving too fast!! He just stopped in the middle of the road (not a crosswalk, mind you) held his hands out and screamed "STOP! STOP!!" Then he proceeded to yell at me about "this is not a racetrack" "why do you have to drive so fast," etc etc. I was thinking, "sorry, pops... maybe they didn't go so fast back in your time, but I really wasn't driving all that fast!"

So I sat there for a second and contemplated screaming back at him for almost making me run him over, but decided that yelling at some old crazy man in the middle of the street just wasn't worth my time. Instead, I just lowered my passenger side window and said very calmly, "I wasn't going to hit you, you know." Then I slowly drove around him and went on my merry way, while the old man kept yelling "No! Wait! Listen!!" Stupid old man.

Then there are the crazy people across the street from me... My street is really narrow, so the building across the street is quite close, and I can see and hear most of what goes on in there all the time. For instance, the rather obese boy with the really large bay windows refuses to put up shades or blinds, and instead changes in plain view of everyone on my side of the street. It's really quite unappetizing.

Anyhow, about every two days, all I hear over there is screaming and yelling from both children and adults. And I mean, all manner of curses and swears emanate from their house. I met the woman of the house, this nice lady named Dolores, when I first moved in. She asked me if I had any kids... when I replied "no no... not yet, anyway," she said she had three and asked me if I wanted them. Looking back I wonder if she was serious :p

Ah, neighbors.

-e

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T13:37:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to Roibs for the pic)

-e

Black Sheep is BACK

2006-10-30T23:17:00.000-05:00

You guys remember Black Sheep, right? Y'know... the guys that came up with:

Engine, Engine, Number Nine,
On the New York transit line,
If my train goes off the track,
Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up!

Yeah, that's them. Well, MCs Dres and Mista Lawnge are back at it again with a digital-only release called 8WM/NOVAKANE. If you want head bobbing, horn kicking, Black Sheep-a-licious hip-hop, check out "B Boys Theme" and "Whodat." If you want something a little more chill and, yes, sensitive, take a listen to "Be Careful." It's a fantastic album and a welcome surprise from one of the biggest hip-hop groups of the early-mid 90's.

Check it out on emusic or fo' sho'.

-e

Bush Uses "The Google"

2006-10-25T22:58:00.000-04:00

Man. You gotta hand it to Bush. He may not know how to speak English... But does he let it stop him? Does he admit his mistakes? No! He just plows right along. This particular example has been all over "the internet" (perhaps Mr. Bush has heard of this new technology?). It goes something like this:

HOST: I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?

BUSH: Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It (garbled) remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.

"The Google"? "I kinda like to look at the ranch?"... Awesome. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States of America... The most powerful man on the planet... Leader of the free world... Mr. George W. (the) Bush:

-e

Weird Al Gets His

2006-10-24T16:07:00.000-04:00

It's about freaking time! Weird Al has entertained millions of us with his ridiculous, yet oftentimes quite clever, parodies of all our favorite hits. I remember listening to my casette tape of "Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D" over and over again ("King of Suede"? I mean, c'mon! So awesome!). I loved the idea of getting "Stuck In A Closet with Vanna White," I thought twice about medicine when "Like a Surgeon" came out, and I certainly won't ever forget the amazing video for "Fat."

I could go on, but really, we all know he's great. And he's FINALLY hit the top 10! According to CNN.com:

"Weird Al" Yankovic's new album, "Straight Outta Lynwood," has scored the enduring song parodist his biggest chart successes in a career that spans nearly three decades. "Lynwood," Yankovic's 12th album, debuted this month at No. 10 on the Billboard 200, his first top 10 album ever. Meanwhile, the Chamillionaire parody "White and Nerdy," reached No. 9 on the Billboard Hot 100, besting his previous high of No. 12 with "Eat It" in 1984.

It's about freaking time! This man is a genius, ladies and gentlemen. With lyrics like:

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my top eight spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces

...you can't deny him! So let's give him his props. You can start by downloading this song:

Don't Download This Song

Cheers,

-e

Ban is IN

2006-10-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

The BCC proclaimed today: "South Korean elected new UN chief"!

Rock on, Ban Ki-moon.

-e

ED-209, Anyone?

2006-10-03T23:04:00.000-04:00

I've been super busy lately... But this one was too good to pass up. Does anyone remember the movie Robocop? Now, does anyone remember ED-209 from Robocop? Y'know, that insane security robot that went insane and killed some dude in a boardroom meeting? Well, check this article from the digital edition of the Chosun Ilbo:

Korea Develops Armed Security Guard Robot

Korea has unveiled an “intelligent” robotic security guard on Thursday. The Ministry of Commerce, Industry and Energy tested the robot in front of some 100 guests including the minister, Chung Sye-kyun. The robot has the ability to discern people and vehicles within a 2-km range in daytime and 1 km at night and of telling the difference between friend and foe by asking for a password when someone comes within 10 m of it.

When it identifies a suspicious individual, it sends a warning and can fire at intruders using a built-in K-3 machine gun or a non-lethal rubber bullet gun. The developer, Samsung Techwin, expects the robot to become commercially available in late 2007 for use in guarding sensitive facilities such as military units or airports.

Hehe...

ED-209: Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Dick Jones: I think you'd better do as he says, Mr. Kinney.

...seconds later...

[Dick Jones's ED-209 has malfunctioned during a demonstration, killing an office worker]
The Old Man: Dick, I'm very disappointed.
Dick Jones: I'm sure it's only a glitch. A temporary setback.
The Old Man: You call this a GLITCH?

Ah, ain't technology grand?

-e

Best Album Title of the Day

2006-09-21T13:10:00.000-04:00

While browsing around emusic.com, I found this gem:

That's right. "Gothic Vampires From Hell & Covered In Goth"

...Soooo... Is this a goth album? I'm just not sure.

-e

A True "Handy" Man

2006-09-21T11:34:00.000-04:00

Boy, the things guys will do to impress girls. CNN.com recently posted a story about this doctor who was trying to impress a stripper by showering her with gifts. The only problem was, well... the gift:

NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey (AP) -- A doctor has pleaded not guilty to stealing a hand from a New Jersey medical school cadaver and giving it to an exotic dancer, authorities said.

Okay... so now you understand the corny title of this entry. Moving on...

Ahmed Rashed, a 2005 graduate of the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, was charged Monday after voluntarily returning from Los Angeles, California, where he is in a residency program, said his lawyer, Hassen Abdellah. Rashed, 26, is free on $1,000 bail.

As if folks with Mulsim-sounding names weren't getting enough bad press these days, this tool had to go and do something retarded like this.

The dancer, Linda Kay, kept the hand in a jar of formaldehyde in her bedroom. Friends have said she called the hand "Freddy."

Aw, how cute. And by "cute" I mean "utterly and deeply disturbing."

Police discovered the hand, along with six human skulls, at Kay's home in July after being called there on a report that a roommate was suicidal. The roommate was not home, but Kay was.

Ohhh... So it was the ROOMMATE's fault he got caught! See, this is why I don't like roommates. They get all suicidal which attracts attention, then the police take my preserved body parts away. Sheesh. Some people are so inconsiderate.

Kay, 31, has pleaded not guilty to unlawful disposal of human remains. Her mother has said she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.

Way to go, mom.

The charge against Rashed carries up to 10 years in prison.

C'mon now. The man was just trying to impress a stripper! If we all went to jail for 10 years for stealing human body parts to give to our stripper girlfriends, well shit... There wouldn't be any of us left!

-e

PS - I hope everyone reading this is happy that I avoided cheesy puns using the word "hand" (aside from the title). For instance, "I have to HAND it to Rashed..." or "Strippers make money HAND over fist..." or um... okay that's all I got.

I SAW THE WHO!! (for free!)

2006-09-20T22:06:00.000-04:00

So yesterday, thanks to a oh-so-well-timed IM/e-mail from my good friend (perhaps new best friend) Goose, I learned about a very short lived ticket special at school today: They were GIVING AWAY tickets to see THE WHO (my most favorite band in the entire world) at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!! Needless to say, after learning about this, I left work and RAN (literally) down 5 flights of stairs, 3 blocks and up another flight of stairs to the on-campus ticket booth. Good thing there were two people ahead of me so that I could sort of catch my breath before asking for my tickets (I'm really out of shape, okay?). And as luck would have it, they had tickets left! So my brother and I got to head up to the Garden to see our favorite band! Both of us had seen The Who once previously so we knew we were in for a treat.

It was my first time at MSG and I couldn't help but feel a little sense of awe at entering such a historic venue. Our seats were pretty far back (in section 349, for anyone who knows MSG real well), but they were directly in line with the stage. And as it turns out, the Garden is a relatively small place for being such a major arena. There was maybe a 1/32 beat sound delay between the stage and our seats.

Anyhow, we arrived a little on the early side (for a concert anyway) and unfortunately managed to catch a very, very bad opening band. Actually, no, I take that back. They weren't THAT bad... They were just very inappropriate for this particular show. It was a band called The Peeping Toms, which sounded like a mix of Faith No More, Maroon 5, and Cypress Hill... I later discovered that this band is actually Mike Patton's new project (Patton is the lead singer from Faith No More). Anyone who knows any one of those bands might understand why the booker or promoter that put this bill together must have been on crack when he had this brilliant idea. I've never heard an opening band at a major show like this boo'd so much.

Three beers, a jumbo hot dog, and about 30 minutes later, The Peeping Toms were finally done. We eagerly returned to our seats to await the start of what promised to be an amazing show. Our promptness was rewarded when, after a relatively short change over, the lights went down, the crowd went crazy, and The Who took the stage.

They opened with one of their oldest hits, "I Can't Explain" (which happens to be playing on my iTunes right now, actually), then went right on into "The Seeker" followed by "Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere." They then threw out a few newer songs, the names of which I don't recall right now, unfortunately. But they didn't leave us hanging for too long... They cranked out a blistering "Who Are You" as well as grand "Baba O'Riley." So amazing.

Then in the middle of the show, they did a medly of 6 songs from their new mini-opera. It's a story about a band's humble beginnings, rise to fame, eventual decline, and, well, some other issues that they didn't really go into very much... Loosely based on the members of The Who, the 6-song journey was a refreshing breath of new material from the aging genius, (and one of my idols) Pete Townshend.

On a quick side note, Pete's brother Simon was playing rhythm guitar and singing backing vocals. I thought this was pretty cool of ol' Pete to allow his younger brother to chill out on stage with him :) Also filling out the band was drummer Zac Starkey, Ringo Star's son. Man, was this guy awesome. He's pretty laid back, all in all... But when he needs to bring it, consider it brought.

Anyhow, then it was right back into the great old hits, like "Won't Get Fooled Again," (see above picture) "Eminence Front," and the anthemic "My Generation." Thus ended the first set... And, per tradition, after a quick break, they came back on to do another short set. This time, Townshend and Daltry came out alone and did an acoustic version of a newer song (again, I don't recall the name). Then, with the whole band back on stage, Townshend played perhaps one of the most famous intros in the history of rock 'n' roll: the opening to Pinball Wizard. I freaked. They then proceeded to play several songs from their most famous rock opera, Tommy, including "Amazing Journey," "Sparks," and of course the finale "See Me, Feel Me" (see below pic). I was in musical heaven. I never got to see them play so many songs from Tommy the last time I saw them (although I did get to see Quadrophenia in its entirety, which was great).

To top off the evening, the rest of the band left the stage one last time and Pete and Roger did a surprisingly touching duet (again, no name in my brain) which basically painted a picture of two aging rock stars sitting down to have some tea and talking about all they've accomplished-- and all they've lost. I think most people had a pretty good feeling that there were allusions to the death of their original drummer Keith Moon and, more recently, the sudden passing of bassist John Entwistle. Fittingly, Daltry was actually clutching a cup of tea for the whole song, saluting the audience (and perhaps his late mates) periodically during the choruses. A great end to a great show.

-e

Have We Gone Too Far? ...Nahhh.

2006-09-18T23:47:00.000-04:00

Most people realize by now that one of the most lucrative markets to be in is the iPod accessories market. As a result, some very interesting products have popped up over the last few years. But none, as far as I can tell, are quite as useless/hilarious as the iPanty.

That's right, folks. The iPanty. I came across this lovely little item while reading last week's Billboard Magazine. It's being sold on thesexysociety.com... Says the website:

So techie chic! Perfect for those of us who love to lounge around in sexy undies all day AND have our music! Black lace panty with pink ribbon and removable pocket to hold iPod nano, money or other small personal items. Comes giftboxed and ready to give -- or receive ;-)

Yipe. So basically, this is for all the Paris Hilton wannabes who don't actually have a party to go to... or a DUI to receive. Awesome. What's next? The iBoxers? "For the man who refuses to wear pants in the house... But still wants his Nano near his Neener!"

But hey... If the public's incessant need to have their iPod on them at all times means we get too see more of this nice lady here:

...Then I'm all for it!

----------------------------

In other news, the Super Mario Bros. theme song has been the #1 downloaded ringtone for NINETY-EIGHT WEEKS!!!

Jeez. I bet that guy is kicking himself for not securing himself some rights.

-e

Best Album Title of the Day

2006-09-18T15:40:00.000-04:00

Best Album Title of the Day:

"Oy to the World: A Klezmer Christmas"

hehe.

-e

Humans + Aliens = ...Asians?

2006-09-12T13:53:00.000-04:00

This is the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time... So Vyuz.com recently published a rather interesting article. Apparently, this kook named David Reynolds, who is a professor and web master at Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon, CA believes that Asians are a result of interbreeding between aboriginal Earthlings from half a million years ago and--get this-- aliens. Martians, to be exact:

According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.

Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim. The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.

“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.

Wait... So we not only decended from Martians, but Martian monks? Awesome! Let's continue...

Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.

Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.

“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”

Isn't that what those weird science guys did on Lost? Hmm...

Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.

Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.

Yes... cause people to not have a spiritual foundation. Right. Who gave this guy his degree??!

Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.

Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.

“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”

Methinks "Professor" Reynolds has been watching a little too much Star Trek. However, the idea that I could be the long lost cousin of some Martian kid is kind of cool, I guess...

...Wait a minute. What the fuck! This dude is crazy.

Your Martian half-blood,

-e

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